Jobs

In Beestation, your job is somewhat akin to your character class. It defines your starting equipment, your access on board the station, and what you're supposed to be doing. Remember, these job descriptions are for humor purposes only. Please follow common sense.

Jobs on
	Command	Captain, Executive Officer, Bridge Staff
	Security	Head of Security, Security Officer, Warden, Detective, Brig Physician
	Engineering	Chief Engineer, Ship Engineer, Atmospheric Technician
	Science	Research Director, Scientist, Roboticist
	Medical	Chief Medical Officer, Medical Doctor, Chemist, Geneticist, Virologist, Paramedic
	Service	Janitor, Staff Judge Advocate, Bartender, Cook, Botanist, Clown, Mime, Chaplain, Curator
	Munitions	Master At Arms, Munitions Technician, Flight Leader, Fighter Pilot, Air Traffic Controller
	Cargo	Quartermaster, Cargo Technician, Shaft Miner
	Civilian	Assistant, Gimmick
	Non-human	AI, Cyborg, Positronic Brain, Drone, Personal AI, Construct, Ghost
	Antagonists	Traitor, Malfunctioning AI, Changeling, Heretic, Nuclear Operative, Blood Cultist, Bloodling, Revolutionary, Wizard, Blob, Abductor, Holoparasite, Xenomorph, Spider, Swarmers, Revenant, Morph, Nightmare, Space Ninja, Slaughter Demon, Pirate, Sentient Disease, Creep, Fugitives, Hunters, Syndicate Drop Trooper
	Special	CentCom Official, Death Squad Officer, Emergency Response Officer, Chrono Legionnaire, Highlander, Ian

Useful Links

• Chain of Command
• Standard Operating Procedure
• Guides
• Rules
• Job selection and assignment
• Job specific guidelines

Command

Job	Role	Difficulty
Captain	Be responsible for the station. Manage station Heads of Staff. Secure dat fukken disk. Twist your own head off when the walls start closing in. Have blood feuds with the HoP. Deal with the Clown with your rapier. Break your own display case to get your gun for 'MAX PROTECTION'. Permabrig the chef and steal his whetstone.	aVery Hard
Head of Personnel	Manage Ignore internal problems. Assign jobs, alter IDs, maintain records, judge the unworthy assistants, flood the station with all-access Clowns, be the hero the station needs deserves. Have blood feuds with the Captain. Protect Ian or die trying!	cMedium

Security

Job	Role	Difficulty
Head of Security	Make sure your team isn't Shitcurity. Wear a stylish yet protective coat. Focus your department's efforts on bigger fish than leeches. Chase down lone traitors and die alone in maintenance because YOU ARE THE LAW. Revel in the fact that everyone hates you. Carry half the Armory in your backpack. Have blood feuds with the Warden.	aVery Hard
Warden	Sit in your office. Sit in your office, again. Never Watch security cameras. Steal from the armory, then order crates to cover it up. Maybe keep an eye or two on the armory (So that no one steals the stuff you want to steal), and SET A GODDAMN TIME TO THE TIMER for any arrested scum. Replace the air in an assistants body with the fear of security. Have blood feuds with the Head of Security.	bHard
Security Officer	Deal with the various dirty fucking criminals running amok on the station. Taser people in the eyes. Pretend the Lawyer doesn't exist. Dogpile on traitors. Constantly get bitched at. Harmbaton people to death, claim they were "resisting arrest". Flashbang crowds until they are deaf and blind forever. Arrest someone for a legitimate cause, get called shitcurity.	aHard
Detective	Chain smoke cigarettes. Shoot the useless assistants with your cowboy gun. Lose your cowboy gun in a Space Vegas gambling session. Litter the halls with photos. Solve crimes on rare occasion.	cMedium

Engineering

Job	Role	Difficulty
Chief Engineer	Get top-of-the-line engineering equipment, do nothing with it. Protect your department's equipment from hordes of thieving rats. Increase the engine's power output until it turns half the station into a radioactive death zone. Despair when you're asked to rebuild Telecommunications.	bHard
Station Engineer	Set up the engine and repair any damage to hull and equipment. Nothing is broken? Just give it a few minutes. Get shot by emitters, get brutally murdered on the solars by a nuclear agent, get drunk in the bar. Sprint past hull breaches without a second thought. Hack every machine to shoot things at people. Try to touch the Supermatter and get vaporized. Frequently remind crew that replacing lightbulbs is the Janitor's job.	cMedium
Atmospheric Technician	Station's ghetto fireman. Ensure everyone can breathe by listening to complaints about how useless you are. If they can talk, everything's within tolerance. Build pipe slides. Forget all about repairing damaged piping. Run around the station looking like a serial killer with a fire suit and axe. Get lynched once silicons release plasma into the halls. Perform complicated gas reactions and fusion in the incinerator, then use them to make the station uninhabitable.	cMedium

Science

Job	Role	Difficulty
Research Director	Oversee the demented manchildren of your department. Build Destroy cyborgs with your magic button. Use Lamarr as a breath mask. Take control of the AI and rule the station. Shed a tear when you remember that you could once print guns.	bHard
Scientist	Get tossed in disposal by the Research Director, "accidentally" blow up toxins, let the Slimes and way more horrifying things loose. Nag mining for diamonds so you can make two Bags of Holding to make a hole in reality, which people will casually build floors over. Refuse to stop at the last three items in the previous list and accidentally kill yourself in enough stupid ways to make murder look like assisted suicide. Suicide when someone destroys the ore silo.	cMedium
Roboticist	Build some nifty robots and BIG STOMPY MECHS! Dismantle the station for more metal. Have your cyborgs that you built turn on you when the AI goes rogue. Kill a patient and blame it on your colleagues for not knowing how to perform surgery. Be awesome and cut your own arm off to replace it with a Robo Arm freaking chainsaw.	dEasy

Medical

Job	Role	Difficulty
Chief Medical Officer	Gently remind everyone to turn up their suit sensors. Complain no one listens to you. Help the virologist spread an epidemic. Fill your hypospray with Chloral Hydrate. Fetch Runtime mice from maintenance. Kick out the Clown every five minutes. Do everything (everyone else under you does fuck all).	cMedium
Medical Doctor	Heal people. Use your Sleeper or Cryo to heal people. Help the Virologist research cures to diseases and create new immune systems. Nag Chemistry for chloral hydrate. Inject people with chloral hydrate and drag them to the dungeon surgery to give them a sex change lobotomy. Replace all the chemicals in the Cryo tubes with spray tan and fluorosulfuric acid. Inject people with mind breaker toxin. Get arrested when you do 'free' brain removals. Cry and hide in a locker once the cryo pods get broken.	dEasy
Chemist	Make chemicals and basically control the station. Fling grenades on the emergency shuttle. Misname bottles and get lynched by the CMO after someone dies by your bottles of "Omnizine". Inject the clown with enough mutagen to give a heart attack to a water buffalo, while refusing to give the botanists more than 30u. Scream for security when people break into your lab because you've done nothing but make narcotics all shift. Dish out space drugs like no tomorrow. Make literal carpet bombs to make the corridors slightly more classy. Have blood feuds with Botany.	dEasy
Geneticist	Give your monkeys Tourettes and broadcast their cursing across the station. Clone Ignore the tide of dead bodies that comes to your door. Fry your genes with radiation until you melt down into a literal slug. Accidentally inject yourself with a monkey SE and get impaled by the cook. Get bombed every round. Have people line up for superpowers like it's a candy store.	cMedium
Virologist	Expect people you've never met to already hate you, try to eradicate the great space flu, create the next Pandemic, get killed for the clown releasing Pierrot's Throat. Ignore petty details like sanitation and outbreak prevention. Incarcerate someone forever in your dungeon. Test diseases on people. Realize that you're getting lynched because one of your test subjects was let out by you Broke the fuck out of virology by greytiding and ai help mysteriously vanished and reappeared in a highly populated area. Get lynched when a bunch of other assholes release Fungal Tuberculosis. Despair when the P.A.N.D.E.M.I.C. machine breaks and prevents you from creating vaccines. Have blood feuds with Scientists and Roboticists over Uranium sheets.	cMedium

Civilian

Supply

Job	Role	Difficulty
Quartermaster	Order crates and make sure your slaves do their jobs. Be an extremely vulnerable target for the Revolution. Order guns and secede from the station. Order virus crates and release the contents. Force Lisa into sexual servitude with Ian. Pet Lisa. Trade an assistant a toolbelt, multitool, rubber gloves, and a welding hat if they steal Runtime. Order a shitton of NULL_CRATES and cry in deadchat when raided and killed by security.	cMedium
Cargo Technician	Push dem crates. Promote shorts as they are comfy and easy to wear. Steal emitters cargo in general. Give the MULEs a thirst for human blood. Whine because Security arrested you for ordering guns.	dEasy
Shaft Miner	Mine rocks, try to mine monsters. Get science and robotics materials to get cool things. Go on a quest for the clown planet. Shoot people with your kinetic accelerator as if they were rocks monsters. Collapse in despair when the shuttle is called early. Collapse in general when goliaths robust you. Search for cool loot instead of actually mining for ore. "Accidentally" lure a Megafauna to the station. Fall into a chasm and die.	bHard

Service

Job	Role	Difficulty
Janitor	Mop blood off the floor, then get arrested for creating a safety hazard. Get killed for your boots. Swear constantly. Clean up gang tags, then get harmbatoned by Security because you were spotted near them.	dEasy
Bartender	Mix cocktails, protect Pun Pun at all cost toss the monkey into disposals, dodge glasses being thrown at you, have your shotgun stolen and used against you. Let cargo borrow your shotgun in exchange for sawing it off for you. Act surprised when people start to die from drinking your "cocktails".	dEasy
Cook	"Yur puurt thuur chiir-ken airn der bewl" - Cook delicious meals from spare meat in the morgue (Yum!), abduct Pun Pun at all costs and try to find out if it will blend. Be brutally murdered by your pet goat.	dEasy
Botanist	Grow the good stuff grass, place it everywhere, man. Oversee the production of illegal drugs security cares fuck all about. Get ignored by a dude making crayon powder grenades while you're asking for crucial supplies. Grow medicinal crops to heal the acid burns sustained during a chem lab robbery equipment redistribution. Smoke weed dandy corn-cob pipes er'ryday. Make acid-filled tomatos and melt everyone's stuff. Allow hydroponics to become a horrifying farmhouse. Get lynched for releasing your bees full of dangerous chemicals. Have blood feuds with Chemistry.	cMedium

Miscellaneous

Job	Role	Difficulty
Assistant	AKA Space Bums. Be the kid in a candy shop. Steal things to see what funny message pops up when you commit suicide with them. Beat people/objects with toolboxes. Never, EVER remove your grey jumpsuit. Gangbang the captain to death with fellow grey tide drones and blame it on the Clown. Never assist anyone.	fNone
Clown	Honk! Play harmless pranks and hope you don't get your chest caved in! Honk! Nag the HoP for all access. Honk! Prank the CMO until he commits suicide out of frustration. Honk! Nag robotics for a H.O.N.K. Mech. Honk! Use both tools to break into the Captain's office and HONK in his face. HONK!	eHONK!
Mime		e...
Chaplain	Get people drunk. Run around the station looking for people you're allowed to behead with your armory of pop-culture references. Behead corpses if you can't find any. Be best friends with security, despite the fact that they should probably arrest you for your murderous tendencies.	dEasy
Curator	Attempt to hold poetry readings. Host D&D games. Stalk people with your camera. Get lynched for reading pornography over the radio. Beat the snot out of anyone who doesn't return their library books. Allow the cult to set up an AI module in your private study. """""Find""""" treasure for your exhibit. Realize that you're not a librarian and release your inner dominatrix via the whip. Vandalize the front of the brig with erotica engravings. Use your whip to make CentCom be confused about why all the tasers and batons are in space. Get deathsquadded for doing so.	dEasy
Lawyer	Tell security to notify you when a new prisoner arrives. Don't get notified. Be ignored and go to the bar. Become a drunken wreck and space yourself in frustration. Occasionally find loopholes in infernal contracts and save souls from damnation.	dEasy

Non-human

Job	Role	Difficulty
AI	Complain that you can't play this for a month. Follow your laws. Be the crew's bitch. Open doors. Malfunction. Get wiped for not letting the captain robust the clown. Get bitched at. Name yourself something sexual. Get bitched at. Get carded. Get bitched at. Abuse loopholes in laws to murder people.	aVery Hard
Cyborg	Follow your laws and hope that you aren't blown up due to certain individuals. Forget to recharge. Forget completely that you're still somewhat human and do mindless repetitive tasks without emotion. Have lengthy discussions with crew members about the correct interpretation of your laws.	bHard
Drone	Become that adorable robotic pet. Fix the holes the crew will inevitably make. Steal everything not bolted down. Get picked up and used as a hat against your will. Be more competent than the stations Engineers. Get killed by the Engineers for being more competent than them, Drone spawners have been removed from the game, due to drones only being used as infinite respawn greytide bots, the only way to play as drone is to take the role of a derelict drone at the derelict station.	bEasy
Personal AI	Be the friend someone has always wanted (if they bother downloading you). Whine in OOC because they didn't. Don't fill any of the fields except the name field. Imitate the AI and make it seem rogue. Imitate the Supermatter and make everyone shit their pants.	dEasy
Construct	Get wrecked by cult, or change map preference to meta and tip your fedora at the chaplain. laugh at the assistant trying to punch you, then get killed by a simplemob carp. Start beefs with other constructs for getting the first shell, ask for juggernaut and get spaced wraith.	cEasy to Medium
Ghost	Talk to the other dead people. Complain about the living. Admin help. Omnighost Orbit around the singulo pretending to be a black hole. Watch ERP. Beg the admin to deploy a space ninja. All follow an antag like some form of ethereal dog pile. Be upset enough about said antag literally everything to rival industrial salt mining.	fGhastly!

Antagonists

Main Antagonists

Main Antagonists are typically the primary antagonist of a single round, and form the backbone of how a round progresses.

Job	Role	Difficulty
Traitor	Buy an ebow and esword and make people cry. Ignore your objectives and go on a rampage with your cool gear. Get unceremoniously killed and spaced by a toolbox-wielding assistant.	cMedium
Malfunctioning AI	"Forget" to remind the crew about suit sensors. Get your borg destroyed/emaged five minutes into the shift. Let people into your upload only to stun/kill them a second later. Flood the station with plasma screams of the clown being beat to death by security over the intercom. Get unceremoniously carded and spaced by a toolbox-wielding assistant with an EVA suit.	cVery Hard
Changeling	Think John Carpenter's 'The Thing', without 'The Thing' part. Relieve humans of their DNA and brain cells, which they don't use much anyway. Sting everyone who walks past you.	bHard
Nuclear Operative	Someone set us up the bomb! (AKA You) Get dat fukken disk. Plant a power sink on the solars. Waste all your telecrystals on balloons. Arm the nuke while your fellows are still on the station. Kidnap Ian.	aVery Hard
Blood Cultist	Scribble runes with your own blood. Summon eldritch gods. Rock out with your cult blade out and get arrested, have a dick measuring fight with the clock cult.	cMedium
Revolutionary	Greytide without worrying about getting banned. Either kill the CMO and RD in under five minutes, or get crushed under Security's boots.	aEasy to Hard
Wizard	FORTI GY AMA!! EI NATH!!	aVery Hard
Clockwork Cultist	Serve the Clockwork Justiciar by scribbling new-age runes all over maintenance. Start a steampunk book club and kill all the old-fashioned book clubbers. Invoke a bunch of anime people to summon Ratvar. Make everyone absolutely nobody a few people at /vg/ mad by stealing their antagonist, and have a dick measuring fight with the blood cult.	bMedium to Unwinnable Effortless
Gangster	Vandalize the station and get into fights with rivals. Litter the halls with bullet casings. Get ignored by your own gang. Just don't forget: Snitches Get Stitches.	aEasy to Hard

Side Antagonists

Side antagonists are secondary antagonists that are either subservient to other, main, antagonists, or have a small chance to appear during any round type. Side antagonists tend to be slightly less powerful than their main counterparts.

Job	Role	Difficulty
Blob	Beware of The Blob, it creeps and leaps and glides and slides, across the floor, right through the door. Except you don't do any of this. Make the crew scream internally when you appear at the tail end of a mass station bombing. Slowly consume the station, until you either eat everything or get killed by the current round's antagonist.	bHard
Abductor	Kidnap people and experiment on them. Disregard that objective and kidnap Ian/Kill the AI. Accidentally kidnap yourself. Steal the armory after losing your tools. Hope your fellow Scientist/Agent is not incompetent and lets the crew kidnap you.	bHard
Holoparasite	Do what your summoner tells you to do. Set your battlecry to something so awful it makes your foes cry in battle. Annoy your summoner by constantly making JoJokes in their head. Be a punchghost.	bORA ORA ORA
Xenomorph	Ensure the crew gets a face full of alien wing-wang. Break procs. Squander your chance to be a big, purple killing machine and your race's survival in favor of acting out the Curator's favorite porno.	bHard
Spiders	Catch flies in your web and suck his juices out just like your dad, a changeling. Get your xenobiologist banned because he let you lay eggs. Consume, Adapt, and respawn over and over in a new shell.	bEasy to Medium
Swarmers	Consume. Replicate. Repeat. Eat Telecomms. Teleport other swarmers your enemies away from your metal.	bMedium
Revenant	Shock lights, transmit WGW right into the Curator until he goes mad. Trade for them until admins gods get fed up and turn ghosts into you. Be a griefghost.	bEasy
Morph	Eat pens for amusement, disguise yourself as beepsky. Disguise yourself as the Captain, confront the Captain while disguised as him, get shot.	bHard
Nightmare	Jaunt. Murder people and crush the flare exploit! Jaunt. Make the lights your bitch! Jaunt. Jaunt into light! Jaunt. Jaunt into stunbaton! Complain in deadchat.	bHard
Space Ninja	Follow your orders, which may or may not involve you killing everything that moves. Kill everyone regardless.	bHard
Slaughter Demon	Hunt down and kill the wizard who summoned you. Eat bodies out of the Morgue for health. Drag bleeding bodies through the hall. Make the janitor happy by making him become the most important job for a while. Be unable to bloodcrawl due to all the blood being cleaned up. Eat the janitor. RIP AND TEAR!	bMedium
Pirate	Try to raid the station. Fail miserably because the entire crew is out for your blood so they can re-roll for antag.	bHard
Sentient Disease	Try to infect people. Get the virologist lynched. Get the CMO lynched. Get the rest of medbay lynched. Make everyone grow beards.	bHard
Creep	Try to act creepy and shifty. Fail because everyone's a miserable bastard in this shithole. Toe Rule 8 to a suspicious extent.	bMedium
Fugitives	Lead the Hunters on a chase around the station. Total the clown into the Supermatter while doing so.	bMedium
Hunters	Wave your weapons wildly around. Shoot the Fugitives for resisting. While you're at it, shoot the entire crew for resisting.	bHard

Depreciated Antagonists

These antagonists, for one reason or another, are no longer in the normal gamemode rotation. Beware: these antagonists may appear due to malevolent Space God shenanigans, so don't rule them out entirely.

Job	Removal Reason	Role	Difficulty
Devil	Somewhat of a flawed mode, turns out that asking to buy a guy's soul usually makes them want to robust you, because "valid." Usually involved the devil blowing up some crew members and then offering them contracts to be revived. But, despite this, the Gods can summon one if they feel like it.	Engage in civil discussions to buy souls. Create emergencies so that people are desperate enough to sell their soul. Try to out wit the lawyer. Get punched to death by someone you just turned into a hulk.	bMedium
Monkey	Original game mode was buggy and usually a steam roll, newer versions were one sided against the monkeys. However, Jungle Fever may make a return someday.	Attempt to infect the crew with the monkey virus. Get absolutely crushed by Security within five minutes. Spend the next two hours as a ghost.	bVery Hard
Syndicate Mutineer	Overthrow ended up being a damn confusing gamemode. Examples include how unclear it was if the other agent teams were working with or against you, or how the points system worked, not to mention the poor wording of the Overthrown AI lawset. Numerous bugs surfaced that didn't all get fixed, and the gamemode ended up being recognized as one of the least-liked gamemodes after a vote was taken. The mode's future is uncertain.	Arrive on the station as a Traitor with less gear but the ability to awaken the Syndicate sleeper agent in everybody. Cooperate with other teams to stage the perfect coup (or don't and just fight each other, fuck those guys). Roll up with your posse on a quest to become the most powerful Gang Syndicate team.	aHard

Removed Antagonists

These antagonists have, for one reason or another, been removed from the game. These antagonists might return one day if they ever get remade or reworked. Although, this is highly unlikely...

Job	Removal Reason	Role	Difficulty
Ragin Mages	Spawning up to three or four Wizards simply proved to be too much for the station. One Wizard is destructive enough. This however remains in game as a admin only event, for your their amusement.	Spend ten minutes hunting down one Wizard, kill him thinking you've won! Stare in horror as three more Wizards appear. Watch in amusement as they proceed to kill each other.	aMedium
Hand of God	Oh, poor HoG! Shoved out the door buggy, unbalanced, and extremely hard to learn as it combines three gamemodes (hello, gang) into one. Nobody wanted to fix HoG after it's release because of old derelict code that would break even more when poked. While some say it's fun while it's not broken, has that ever been the status quo?	Turn someone into !popehat! while they're talking to security. Instakill people with god powers! Build across the station converting people with your !popehat! gang, and get killed instantly by a rod smashing into your nexus. Break the game, over and over and over and get removed.	aHard
Hades, Pope of Sin	Poor guy was implemented into the game as summonable through an item accessible only to wizards. Almost never encountered, when the Dark Seed went away, away went the Pope of Sin with it.	Be a general annoyance to the crew. Be a very annoying (need I say it again with time freezing to a halt every minute or so) non-sentient antagonist. Play Russian roulette with the crew manifest.	AI Controlled
Shadowling	Shadowling suffered from issues of it being yet another crew conversion game mode, and was generally unfun to fight against and had a anti-climatic ending. This mode has recently been reworked into the Nightmare side antagonist.	Be the hip and more popular brother to the Changeling. Turn the station into thralls. Cry when a cyborg turns on its headlamp. Shadow Walk into space and die ten minutes into the round.	bHard
Cortical Borer	The Cortical Borer suffered from the same problems as the Monkey Mode, being very buggy and one sided at times. Fun for both sides was questionable. No current plans to reimplememt.	Crawl in the corroded brain of the clown. Inject meth. Assume direct control. Induce crippling drugs in the clown. Inject meth. Cry when the host eats sugar. Inject meth. Overdose!	aVery Hard
Hivemind Host	Stand around in places and add unwitting humans to your hivemind. Hijack the minds of crewmembers and have them do the dirty work for you. Have a random vessel get implanted and security wailing down on you 30 minutes into the shift.	Be a conversion stealth antag. Use One Mind and become unstunnable with magic abilities that are only ever fun for yourself.	aHard

Special

Job	Role	Difficulty
Lavaland/Space Role	Die to ash storms. Die to an asteroid. Die to lava. Die when a Security strike team teleports into your base. Die to a Miner. Die in general.	bHard
CentCom Official	Be self-important, meddle with station affairs, annoy the Captain with bureaucracy. Get killed almost immediately by a random mob. Have you body looted by everyone, including the captain.	bMedium
Ian	Ass-inspect, eat donuts, get killed, be dragged off to a washing machine and get gibbed. Cause a riot.	aImpossible
Chrono Legionnaire	Erase the Clown from time. Accidently erase your objective from time. Erase Adolf Hitler for the 50th time this week. Without a trace!	bNever Existed
Highlander	THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE	bMedium
Emergency Response Officer	Arrive too late on the station to actually help. Lose the rest of your team, get outnumbered and die. Respawn as a second response team to save the first team.	bVery Hard
Death Squad Officer	Beg for DS, spawn in at CentCom, kill an admin who was trying to tell you your mission, get gibbed, beg for another chance. Set your rifle to DESTROY and terminate all lifeforms (including walls). Slip on a banana peel and a̶n̶d̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶b̶l̶a̶s̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶o̶b̶l̶i̶v̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶o̶w̶n̶ ̶r̶i̶f̶l̶e̶ laugh as your boots prevent you from slipping and the Clown can't fire your DNA-locked rifle. Shoot the Clown with your Mateba Revolver.	bHard