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Greatest clown.png
Additional AccessN/A
SupervisorsExecutive Officer, The Honkmother
RankCivilian (CIV)
DutiesEntertain the crew, make bad jokes, go on a holy quest to find bananium, HONK!
GuidesNo external guides - HONK
The Bar's Theatre is where you spawn along with the Mime.

You are... well... the funny person of the ship! Honk honk! This usually means you play harmless pranks on people to remind them that life on the ship is not to be taken too seriously. The Clown doesn't have to do anything must spread the word of the Honkmother through honks and elaborate pranks. Basically the clown's job is to goof off, much like an assistant, but clowns don't usually listen to anyone because they have places to be, and things to HONK!

Bare minimum requirements: Be funny to other crewmembers. This is harder than it sounds.

Bike horn.png License to HONK[edit | edit source]

Nope, it is not a license to be a shit. Remember, you are still bound to rule one, as in don't be a dick.

When in doubt, ask yourself: "Are you irrevocably fucking with someone's round (killing, incapacitating, etc.)?"

If yes: don't do it. You'll probably get robusted and banned.

If no: you're probably fine.

Bike horn.png Pranks[edit | edit source]

Bike horn.png

This is where the bad clowns are separated from the real ones! Pranks can range from anything from harmless honks to the head to throwing random banana peels (usually people hate you for this most of all) all over the hallways, or even spamming prayers to the Honkmother for a H.O.N.K.-mech because those assholes don't have bananium so they could make you one.

If you are really out of ideas and on the verge of being so bored that you'll soon resort to just being a dick, here's a few things a good Clown can do to entertain the crew:

  • Tell bad jokes and puns nonstop
  • Hold two horns (okay one can be duck) and rapidly switch hands while spamming the use key to dualhonk
  • Ride wheeled chairs with fire extinguishers
  • Wear cardboard suit and helmet and be a clownborg, beep boop honk
  • Wear funny outfits from the AutoDrobe
    • Be a pirateclown. Yarr, scurvy dog!
    • Be a gentleman clown. I say, good sir!
    • Be a gladiator clown. Vale!
    • Be a priest clown. Praise the Honkmother!
    • Be a chicken clown. Cluck cluck bagawk!
  • Bolt open the costume storage for the entire crew to use
  • Get/pretend to be a random new job, and be terrible/amazing at that job
  • Build a Clown-Mart in the Vacant Office
  • Hide photocopies of your ass around the ship
  • Slip then shave peoples heads with a razor
  • Annoy a targeted person of your choice by slipping them non-stop
  • Yell fake claims about antags
  • Make people panic with fake items from the arcade machines
  • Lube the halls
  • Collect shoes from Assistants
  • Make a Conveyor Belt that makes non-stop noise
  • Build a clown restaurant and run the chef out of business
  • Insert donuts into people's pockets
  • Attack Heads of Staff with the laser tag gun
  • Create newsfeed channels and put out outrageous and slightly offensive accusations against people, along with photos
  • Vandalize Improve random departments with crayon and spraypaint
  • Write obscenities right outside the brig and get dog piled by security
  • Make a Honkbot
  • Make some friends and start an underground fight club a circus
  • Become the shaft miner's plucky comic relief sidekick on a quest for bananium
  • Build an art installation and protect it from cleanbots
  • Write a book with your best jokes to preserve them for future generations of clowns

Bike horn.png Power[edit | edit source]

Both you and the Mime spawn in the Theatre and have access to all the costumes inside.

If the round goes on long enough, someone may be demented fun-loving enough to build to you a H.O.N.K.-mech. This mech even makes squeaky sounds when it moves instead of in addition to those awful clomping noises of other mechs. Make sure to attach the 'HoNkER BlAsT 5000' to it, for EXTREME HONKING! Honk!

Bike horn.png Honk[edit | edit source]

Honking is how you get your work done. If you honk a honk honk then honk up the honk, well you'll have a doozy of a honk on your honk to wash off.

Bike horn.png Equipment[edit | edit source]

You get the clown suit with matching squeaky shoes (with built-in Waddle Dampeners[TM]), a bike horn, clown stamp (for approving monkey crates) clown mask (which works like a gas mask), a special infinite rainbow clown crayon so you can start writing naughty words all over the escape arm or eating it like a giant honking baby, a can of laughing juice, a megaphone to be extra obnoxious, a pie cannon, a banana, and your slippery PDA. Your PDA can infect people's PDAs with a virus that makes it randomly honk, and possibly do other things? Who knows, HONK!

Bike horn.png Job Difficulty[edit | edit source]

Very little, but some people might want to kill you just for being the Clown. HONK!

Bike horn.pngBike horn.pngBike horn.png Tips[edit | edit source]

  • The clown's mask can be used for internals.
  • If the clown's PDA cartridge has less than 5 charges (sendable viruses which make someone’s PDA honk every time they push a button) left, someone who isn't the clown can slip on it to restore 1 charge per slip. Have fun with that.
  • Eating the rainbow crayon completely is impossible. If you're a clown and starving you can just nibble on your crayon, for infinity.
  • HONK!
  • Dye your clown shoes and slip them on someone, they still squeak.
  • The clown's flower is basically a small spray bottle. It can be emptied and can carry 10 units of fluids and shoots exactly 1 unit at a time. So you can fire ten very small shots, and it has an impressive range. It can be loaded from the pepper spray wall units. Since it is one unit the stun does not last long, but it is good for a guaranteed disarm if they lack eye protection.
  • If somebody is chasing you and you haven't emptied your flower of water yet, you can empty it on the floor for a slip that is less obvious than a peel is.
  • The clown's PDA can be used in lieu of a banana peel; people will slip on it just the same. Just remember to take the ID out so if some chucklefuck takes it, you aren't left with no access.
  • Telling a few jokes or having a funny gimmick can mean the difference between getting all-access and being lynched after a prank gone wrong.
  • You can disable the built-in Waddle Dampeners[TM] in your shoes with CTRL + Click to waddle around! Makes you walk funny.

Bike horn.png Pennywise the Spacing Clown[edit | edit source]

Remember that time you were terrified by a clown when you were small? Well, this is the reason why. As a traitor, while you could possibly be just funny as hell and hope people won't kill you (like using the camo projector set to "banana"), you should learn how to robust or how to break and enter! Just have fun and relax, and honk while you betray people! If all else fails, get a Chainsaw and a Welding Helmet and kill people who slip on your banana peels (the scare factor is pretty high).

Honkers on NSV13

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Law and Order Condom, All Access Provider
Fun Police No Fun, Shitcurity Officer, Mortal Kombat, Can't Take a Joke
Black Magicians Poly's Keeper, Free Insulateds, Axe Bearer
Harmzone™ Nerdo Supreme, Slimer/Bomber/Nerd, Doctor Wiley
The Stage Evil Bastard, Quack, Druglord/Lube Source, Enjoys Pranks, Lynch
Goobers Enabler, LOL2CAT!!!, Has a Gun, Has a Knife, FREE PEELS, The Most Charitable and Just Clown, Peace and Blessings Upon Them, Mortal Enemy, This is No Laughing Matter, Who Let You In Here?!
Kamikadze Warden't, Boomer, Now This Is Pod Racing, Left Behind, Button Presser
Greytide Hardass, Bribe For Toys, Bringer of Bananium, Space Hombos, Forgotten
Goons Doorknob, No Humor Module, Captive Audience, A Fancy Hat, HARMALARM, No Touchie, 2Spooky4me
Critics Slip Em', EVIL Doorknob, Honk It to Death, Deepfry his book, Still Slippable, Wiznerd, Emos, Janitor's worst enemy, Death Removed, OH FUCK DEATH NOT REMOVED, Ayyliens, KITTY, TOP TEN PRANKS GONE WRONG, 3spooky5me, Also Slippable, Your Best Friend, Don't Cry, Squishy, Free All Access Guy, Yakety Sax, Diarrhea Dumpster, Disposals Bait, Leather Club's Two Blocks Down, I'll Show You Who's the Boss of this Gym, STILL Slippable
"Special" Centcom Official, Prank Squad Officer, Emergency Response Pranksters (ERP), , Slips Through Space and Time, No Underwear, Free Meat, Valids
Filth Maximum Filth, Vomitoriun, Free Internals, Fluttershy, Literally Potatohead, The Homo-Rainbow, Maximum-er Filth, Lightbulbs