Difference between revisions of "Jobs"
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![[File:Pirate.png|64px|link=Pirate]]<br>[[Pirate]] | ![[File:Pirate.png|64px|link=Pirate]]<br>[[Pirate]] | ||
|Try to raid the station. Fail miserably because the entire crew is out for your blood so they can re-roll for antag. | |Try to raid the station. Fail miserably because the entire crew is out for your blood so they can re-roll for antag. | ||
+ | !<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | ![[File:Icons8 flat biohazard.svg.png|64px|link=Sentient Disease]]<br>[[Sentient Disease]] | ||
+ | |Try to infect people. Get the virologist lynched. Get the CMO lynched. Get the rest of medbay lynched. Make everyone grow beards. | ||
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard | !<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard | ||
|- | |- |
Revision as of 00:35, 8 March 2018
In /tg/station 13, your job is somewhat akin to your character class. It defines your starting equipment, your access on board the station, and what you're supposed to be doing. Remember, these job descriptions are for humor purposes only. Please follow common sense.
Useful Links
Command
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Captain |
Be responsible for the station. Manage station Heads of Staff. Secure dat fukken disk. Twist your own head off when the walls start closing in. Have blood feuds with the HoP. Deal with the Clown with the Laser Cannon. Break your own display case to get your gun for 'MAX PROTECTION'. Permabrig the chef and steal his whet stones | Very Hard |
Head of Personnel |
Medium |
Security
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Head of Security |
Make sure your team isn't Shitcurity. Wear a stylish yet protective coat. Focus your department's efforts on bigger fish than leeches. Chase down lone traitors and die alone in maintenance because YOU ARE THE LAW . Revel in the fact that everyone hates you. Carry half the Armory in your backpack. Have blood feuds with the Warden. | Very Hard |
Warden |
Sit in your office. Sit in your office, again. |
Hard |
Security Officer |
Deal with the various dirty fucking criminals running amok on the station. Taser people in the eyes. Pretend the Lawyer doesn't exist. Dogpile on traitors. Constantly get bitched at. Harmbaton people to death, claim they were "resisting arrest". Flashbang crowds until they are deaf and blind forever. Arrest someone for a legitimate cause, get called shitcurity. | Hard |
Detective |
Chain smoke cigarettes. Shoot the useless assistants with your cowboy gun. Lose your cowboy gun in a Space Vegas gambling session. Litter the halls with photos. Solve crimes on rare occasion. | Medium |
Engineering
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Chief Engineer |
Get top-of-the-line engineering equipment, do nothing with it. Fight trespassers and teleport the particle accelerator to cargo so you can get more cutting-edge engineering equipment. Despair when you're asked to rebuild Telecommunications. |
Hard |
Station Engineer |
Medium | |
Atmospheric Technician |
Station's ghetto fireman. Ensure everyone can breathe by listening to complaints about how useless you are. If they can talk, everything's within tolerances. Build pipe slides. Forget all about repairing damaged piping. Make some bombs using the empty tanks and accidentally activate them in the hallway. Run around the station looking like a serial killer with a fire suit and axe. Release |
Medium |
Science
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Research Director |
Oversee the demented manchildren of your department. |
Hard |
Scientist |
Get tossed in disposal by the Research Director, nag chemistry, "accidentally" blow up toxins, let the Slimes and way more horrifying things loose. Nag mining for diamonds so you can make two Bags of Holding to make a mini Singularity. Refuse to stop at the last three items in the previous list and accidentally kill yourself in enough stupid ways to make murder look like assisted suicide. Have blood feuds with Roboticists and the Virologist over who stole all the minerals. | Medium |
Roboticist |
Build some nifty robots and BIG STOMPY MECHS! Dismantle the station for more metal. Have your cyborgs that you built turn on you when the AI goes rogue. Kill a patient and blame it on your colleagues for not knowing how to perform surgery. Be awesome and cut your own arm off to replace it with a |
Easy |
Medical
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Chief Medical Officer |
Gently remind everyone to turn up their suit sensors. Complain no one listens to you. Help the virologist spread an epidemic. Fill your hypospray with Chloral Hydrate. Fetch Runtime mice from maintenance. Kick out the Clown every five minutes. Do everything (everyone else under you does fuck all). | Medium |
Medical Doctor |
Easy | |
Chemist |
Make chemicals and basically control the station. Fling grenades on the emergency shuttle. Misname bottles and get lynched by the Chief Medical Officer after someone dies by your bottles of "Omnizine". Inject the clown with enough mutagen to give a heart attack to a water buffalo. Dish out space drugs like no tomorrow. Make literal carpet bombs to make the corridors slightly more classy. | Easy |
Geneticist |
Give your monkeys Tourettes and broadcast their cursing across the station. |
Medium |
Virologist |
Expect people you've never met to already hate you, try to eradicate the great space flu, create the next Pandemic, get killed for the clown releasing Pierrot's Throat. Ignore petty details like sanitation and outbreak prevention. Incarcerate someone forever in your dungeon. Test diseases on people. Realize that you're getting lynched because one of your test subjects |
Medium |
Civilian
Supply
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Quartermaster |
Order crates and make sure your slaves do their jobs. Be an extremely vulnerable target for the Revolution. Order guns and secede from the station. Order virus crates and release the contents. |
Medium |
Cargo Technician |
Push dem crates. Promote shorts as they are comfy and easy to wear. Steal |
Easy |
Shaft Miner |
Mine rocks, try to mine monsters. Get science and robotics materials to get cool things. Go on a quest for the clown planet. Shoot people with your kinetic accelerator as if they were |
Hard |
Service
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Janitor |
Mop blood off the floor, then get arrested for creating a safety hazard. Get killed for your boots. Swear constantly. Clean up gang tags, then get harmbatoned by Security because you were spotted near them. | Easy |
Bartender |
Mix cocktails, |
Easy |
Cook |
"Yur puurt thuur chiir-ken airn der bewl" - Cook delicious meals from spare meat in the morgue (Yum!), abduct Pun Pun at all costs and try to find out if it will blend. Be brutally murdered by your pet goat. | Easy |
Botanist |
Grow |
Medium |
Miscellaneous
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Assistant |
AKA Space Bums. Be the kid in a candy shop. Steal things to see what funny message pops up when you commit suicide with them. Beat people/objects with toolboxes. Never, EVER remove your grey jumpsuit. Gangbang the captain to death with fellow grey tide drones and blame it on the clown. Never assist anyone. | None |
Clown |
Honk! Play harmless pranks and hope you don't get your chest caved in! Honk! Nag the HoP for an all-access pass. Honk! Nag robotics for a H.O.N.K. Mech. Honk! Use both tools to break into the Captain's office and HONK in his face. HONK! | HONK! |
Mime |
*wave | ... |
Chaplain |
Get people drunk. Run around the station looking for people you're allowed to behead with your armory of pop-culture references. Behead corpses if you can't find any. Be best friends with security, despite the fact that they should probably arrest you for your murderous tendencies. | Easy |
Curator |
Attempt to hold poetry readings. Host D&D games. Stalk people with your camera. Get lynched for reading pornography over the radio. Beat the snot out of anyone who doesn't return their library books. Allow the cult to set up an AI module in your private study. """""Find""""" Treasure for your exhibit. Realize that you're not a librarian and release your inner dominatrix via the whip. Vandalize the front of the brig with erotica engravings. Use your whip to make CentCom be confused about why all the tasers and batons are in space. Get deathsquadded for doing so. | Easy |
Lawyer |
Tell security to notify you when a new prisoner arrives. Don't get notified. Be ignored and go to the bar. Become a drunken wreck and space yourself in frustration. Occasionally find loopholes in infernal contracts and save souls from damnation. | Easy |
Non-human
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
AI |
Complain that you can't play this for a month. Follow your laws. Be the crew's bitch. Open doors. Malfunction. Get wiped for not letting the captain robust the clown. Get bitched at. Name yourself something sexual. Get bitched at. Get carded. Get bitched at. | Very Hard |
Cyborg |
Follow your laws and hope that you aren't blown up due to certain individuals. Forget to recharge. Forget completely that you're still somewhat human and do mindless repetitive tasks without emotion. | Hard |
Drone |
Become that adorable robotic pet. Fix the holes the crew will inevitably make. Steal everything not bolted down. Get picked up and used as a hat against your will. Be more competent than the stations Engineers. Get killed by the Engineers for being more competent than them. | Easy |
Personal AI |
Be the friend someone has always wanted (if they bother downloading you). Whine in OOC because they didn't. Don't fill any of the fields except the name field. Imitate the AI and make it seem rogue. Imitate the Supermatter and make everyone shit their pants. | Easy |
Construct |
Get wrecked by cult, or change map preference to meta and tip your fedora at the chaplain. laugh at the assistant trying to punch you, then get killed by a simplemob carp. Start beefs with other constructs for getting the first shell, ask for juggernaut and get |
Easy to Medium |
Ghost |
Talk to the other dead people. Complain about the living. Admin help. |
Ghastly! |
Antagonists
Main Antagonists
Main Antagonists are typically the primary antagonist of a single round, and form the backbone of how a round progresses.
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Traitor |
Buy an ebow and esword and make people cry. Ignore your objectives and go on a rampage with your cool gear. Get unceremoniously killed and spaced by a toolbox-wielding assistant. | Medium |
Malfunctioning AI |
"Forget" to remind the crew about suit sensors. Get your borg destroyed/emaged five minutes into the shift. Let people into your upload only to stun/kill them a second later. Flood the station with |
Very Hard |
Changeling |
Think John Carpenter's 'The Thing', without 'The Thing' part. Relieve humans of their DNA and brain cells, which they don't use much anyway. Sting everyone who walks past you. | Hard |
Nuclear Operative |
Someone set us up the bomb! (AKA You) Get dat fukken disk. Plant a power sink on the solars. Waste all your telecrystals on balloons. Arm the nuke while your fellows are still on the station. Kidnap Ian. | Very Hard |
Blood Cultist |
Scribble runes with your own blood. Summon eldritch gods. Rock out with your |
Medium |
Clockwork Cultist |
Serve the Clockwork Justiciar by scribbling new-age runes all over maintenance. Start a steampunk book club and kill all the old-fashioned book clubbers. Invoke a bunch of anime people to summon Ratvar. Make |
|
Revolutionary |
Greytide without worrying about getting banned. Either kill the CMO and RD in under five minutes, or get crushed under Security's boots. | Easy to Hard |
Wizard |
FORTI GY AMA!! EI NATH!! | Very Hard |
Side Antagonists
Side antagonists are secondary antagonists that are either subservient to other, main, antagonists, or have a small chance to appear during any round type. Side antagonists tend to be slightly less powerful than their main counterparts.
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Blob |
Beware of The Blob, it creeps and leaps and glides and slides, across the floor, right through the door. Except you don't do any of this. Make the crew scream internally when you appear at the tail end of a mass station bombing. Slowly consume the station, until you either eat everything or get killed by the current round's antagonist. | Hard |
Abductor |
Kidnap people and experiment on them. Disregard that objective and kidnap Ian/Kill the AI. Accidentally kidnap yourself. Steal the armory after losing your tools. Hope your fellow Scientist/Agent is not incompetent and lets the crew kidnap you. | Hard |
Holoparasite |
Do what your summoner tells you to do. Set your battlecry to something so awful it makes your foes cry in battle. Annoy your summoner by constantly making JoJokes in their head. Be a punchghost. | ORA ORA ORA |
Xenomorph |
Ensure the crew gets a face full of alien wing-wang. Break procs. Squander your chance to be a big, purple killing machine and your race's survival in favor of acting out the Curator's favorite porno. | Hard |
Spiders |
Catch flies in your web and suck his juices out just like your dad, a changeling. Get your xenobiologist banned because he let you lay eggs. Consume, Adapt, and respawn over and over in a new shell. | Easy to Medium |
Swarmers |
Consume. Replicate. Repeat. Eat Telecomms. Teleport |
Medium |
Revenant |
Shock lights, transmit WGW right into the Curator until he goes mad. Trade for them until |
Easy |
Morph |
Eat pens for amusement, disguise yourself as beepsky. Disguise yourself as the Captain, confront the Captain while disguised as him, get shot. | Hard |
Nightmare |
Jaunt. Murder people and crush the flare exploit! Jaunt. Make the lights your bitch! Jaunt. Jaunt into light! Jaunt. Jaunt into stunbaton! Complain in deadchat. | Hard |
Space Ninja |
Follow your orders, which may or may not involve you killing everything that moves. Kill everyone regardless. | Hard |
Slaughter Demon |
Hunt down and kill the wizard who summoned you. Eat bodies out of the Morgue for health. Drag bleeding bodies through the hall. Make the janitor happy by making him become the most important job for a while. Be unable to bloodcrawl due to all the blood being cleaned up. Eat the janitor. RIP AND TEAR! | Medium |
Pirate |
Try to raid the station. Fail miserably because the entire crew is out for your blood so they can re-roll for antag. | Hard |
Sentient Disease |
Try to infect people. Get the virologist lynched. Get the CMO lynched. Get the rest of medbay lynched. Make everyone grow beards. | Hard |
Depreciated Antagonists
These antagonists, for one reason or another, are no longer in the normal gamemode rotation. Beware: these antagonists may appear due to malevolent Space God shenanigans, so don't rule them out entirely.
Job | Removal Reason | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|---|
Devil |
Somewhat of a flawed mode, turns out that asking to buy a guy's soul usually makes them want to robust you, because "valid." Usually involved the devil blowing up some crew members and then offering them contracts to be revived. But, despite this, the Gods can summon one if they feel like it. | Engage in civil discussions to buy souls. Create emergencies so that people are desperate enough to sell their soul. Try to out wit the lawyer. Get punched to death by someone you just turned into a hulk. | Medium |
Monkey |
Original game mode was buggy and usually a steam roll, newer versions were one sided against the monkeys. However, Jungle Fever may make a return someday. | Attempt to infect the crew with the monkey virus. Get absolutely crushed by Security within five minutes. Spend the next two hours as a ghost. | Very Hard |
Hades, Pope of Sin |
Poor guy was implemented into the game as summonable through an item accessible only to wizards. Almost never encountered, when the Dark Seed went away, away went the Pope of Sin with it. | Be a general annoyance to the crew. Be a very annoying (need I say it again with time freezing to a halt every minute or so) non-sentient antagonist. Play Russian roulette with the crew manifest. | AI Controlled |
Removed Antagonists
These antagonists have, for one reason or another, been removed from the game. These antagonists might appear due to malevolent Space God shenanigans, if they still exist in the game code. Although, this is higly unlikely[ᶜᶦᵗᵃᵗᶦᵒⁿ ⁿᵉᵉᵈᵉᵈ].
Job | Removal Reason | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|---|
Ragin Mages |
Spawning up to three or four Wizards simply proved to be too much for the station. One Wizard is destructive enough. This however remains in game as a admin only event, for |
Spend ten minutes hunting down one Wizard, kill him thinking you've won! Stare in horror as three more Wizards appear. Watch in amusement as they proceed to kill each other. | Medium |
Gangster |
A highly controversial and playerbase dividing game mode, the game mode saw dozens of revisions by coders yet it remained essentially either a Revolution round but with round start access to firearms, or a team deathmatch game mode that destroyed any sense of roleplay or immersion. | Vandalize the station and get into fights with rivals. Litter the halls with bullet casings. Get ignored by your own gang. Just don't forget: Snitches Get Stitches. | Easy to Hard |
Hand of God |
Oh, poor HoG! Shoved out the door buggy, unbalanced, and extremely hard to learn as it combines three gamemodes (hello, gang) into one. Nobody wanted to fix HoG after it's release because of old derelict code that would break even more when poked. While some say it's fun while it's not broken, has that ever been the status quo? | Turn someone into !popehat! while they're talking to security. Instakill people with god powers! Build across the station converting people with your !popehat! gang, and get killed instantly by a rod smashing into your nexus. Break the game, over and over and over and get removed. | Hard |
Shadowling |
Shadowling suffered from issues of it being yet another crew conversion game mode, and was generally unfun to fight against and had a anti-climatic ending. This mode has recently been reworked into the Nightmare side antagonist. | Be the hip and more popular brother to the Changeling. Turn the station into thralls. Cry when a cyborg turns on its headlamp. Shadow Walk into space and die ten minutes into the round. | Hard |
Cortical Borer |
The Cortical Borer suffered from the same problems as the Monkey Mode, being very buggy and one sided at times. Fun for both sides was questionable. No current plans to reimplememt. | Crawl in the corroded brain of the clown. Inject meth. Assume direct control. Induce crippling drugs in the clown. Inject meth. Cry when the host eats sugar. Inject meth. Overdose! | Very Hard |
Special
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Lavaland/Space Role |
Die to ash storms. Die to an asteroid. Die to lava. Die when a Security strike team teleports into your base. Die to a Miner. Die in general. | Hard |
CentCom Official |
Be self-important, meddle with station affairs, annoy the Captain with bureaucracy. Get killed almost immediately by a random mob. Have you body looted by everyone, including the captain. | Medium |
Ian |
Ass-inspect, eat donuts, get killed, be dragged off to a washing machine and get gibbed. Cause a riot. | Impossible |
Chrono Legionnaire |
Erase the Clown from time. Accidently erase your objective from time. Never be spawned by a admin for being too powerful(?). Without a trace! | Never Existed |
Highlander |
THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE | Medium |
Emergency Response Officer |
Arrive too late on the station to actually help. Lose the rest of your team, get outnumbered and die. Respawn as a second response team to save the first team. | Very Hard |
Death Squad Officer |
Beg for DS, spawn in at CentCom, kill an admin who was trying to tell you your mission, get gibbed, beg for another chance. Set your rifle to DESTROY and terminate all lifeforms (including walls). Slip on a banana peel and a̶n̶d̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶b̶l̶a̶s̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶o̶b̶l̶i̶v̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶o̶w̶n̶ ̶r̶i̶f̶l̶e̶ laugh as your boots prevent you from slipping and the Clown can't fire your DNA-locked rifle. Shoot the Clown with your Mateba Revolver. | Hard |
Species
Read More: Guide to races
Species | Description | Prevalence |
---|---|---|
Humans |
Behave like the dominant species you are. Beat skulls in with a toolbox and remind everyone that you are essentially a bald ape. Get leg-dropped by a wrestler and watch as your leg actually falls off. Set up industrial-sized bugzappers in the main hall to deal with the pests. Pray to be changed into a catgirl/boy, get changed into an actual cat instead. | Very Common |
Lizardmen |
Name yourself Does-The-Gimmick. Set all your accessory slots and become an unrecognizable blob of pixels. |
Uncommon |
Flyperson |
Annoy the chef for his cheese, vomit on his food and kill Pete because |
Uncommon |
Mothpeople |
Get everything unique about you as a species removed by deranged people, but manage to sneak past a free infinite jetpack that never activates when you need it to. Turn into toothpaste when you hack a door wrong. Be so !!CUTE AND FUZZIE!! as you corporealize into an army of mute greyshirt moths who break into the captain's office roundstart. | Uncommon |
Plasmamen |
Light the entirety of the station on fire. Be immune to cold environments, die in seconds to hot ones. Claim that you're a space beast that's come to kill everything, ever. | Rare |
Slimeperson |
Be the specialest snowflake in xenobiology. Hang out with your |
Very Rare |
Podmen |
End up as mister potatohead after Genetics gets blown up and the Botanist is not stoned enough to forget he can clone too, but too stoned to do a good job. Forget that you photosynthesise and grow obese in the light. Start vegetating with relative ease. Remember that you're basically a walking matchstick well after you marched into a plasma fire. | Very Rare |
Golem |
Act like dumb ogre, smash the fleshy idiot humies and trigger gods. Escalate conflicts to deadchat with your ogre fists. Dish out justice with your ogre squad. Kill people with your flashy radiation, and get banned for |
Very Rare |