Felinids

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Revision as of 09:47, 16 August 2019 by imported>Jordie0608 (this is dumb, unrelated to ss13 and just straight up wrong; stop trying to get anything like this onto the wiki)
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UNDEFINED
Catpeople.png
Felinid
Genus: Homo Sapiens Felis
Homeworld: Japanifornia and plastic surgery rooms
Central Authority: United Earth Government
Restricted Job Roles: Command Roles
Guides: No external guides


Humans spread from arm to arm of the galaxy. But something happened along the way. Mutants, though closer to humanity than other species, are still barred from higher positions in the chain of command.

History

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Cat people Felinids have a long history with Space Station 13. One of the earliest events still recorded, in much simpler times, shows cat ears and tails were perhaps just [a consumer product] available in the galaxy. Innocent enough as well, at least concerning what Felinids were, [pet collars] became the height of niche fashion a year after cat ears returned to shelves. Though consumers complained cat ears and collars could not be put on together, the manufacturers questioned who would be unable to wear ears on their head, a tail somewhere unpleasant and a collar on their neck all together. Market researchers claimed these complaints were from children not suited to the product given the letters were written in colourful crayon.

Though the origin of cat ears are missing, we do know that they are currently a novelty item created by the Animals Rights Consortium in an effort to make you care more for cats by making you more like them, rather than the obvious solution of making cats more like humans with babies instead of kittens. The collars are too, because an inmate pet needs a collar so other people know it's not supposed to be wandering outside of space stations. It took only three months of no response to the crayon complaints before a raving madman broke into the Animal Rights Consortium's headquarters, armed with just a pair of stungloves, a fire extinguisher full of welding fuel and a lit match. The pet loving organisation soon discovered the letters were not written by children, but Nanotrasen employees and children, we hope, at least the one authorised by a clown's rubber stamp, must have been a birthday party.

As it turns out, the Animal Rights Consortium had been working on a mad science. The ability to make toy ears and tail out of flesh that cannot be yanked out when mum and dad the AI and Captain open your dorm door. The previous raving madman was told if he got his employers to accept surgery for this new product, he would be the first to receive it outside of the laboratory. This coincided with the time that Nanotrasen was to allow its employees to look unkempt even in front of competitors; tattoos and scars. Naturally, on the day after the madman was offered a catty chance, Nanotrasen declared its shareholders must vote on allowing its employees the privilege of either scars and tattoos or a new plastic surgery. Despite the executive's voice on the announcement wavering along with another man on the microphone yelling at him what to say, and the news of rescheduled deathsquad exercises, and the sound of weapons fire at the end of the announcement, the executives voted for their [purrfurred outcome]. Needless to say, the crazed madman was not the first to receive the infamous ears or tail.

Two years again afterwards and the surgical technology was refined. The hearing of the ears was enhanced, though security's liberal usage of flash bangs is not helpful to this further modification to make humans care more for their frisky feline pets. Some predictions are that the next modification will be enhanced night vision, which will too cause greater issue with flash bangs, or that claws are the next potential step. Some ask when it will stop, the Animal Rights Consortium don't.

At the same time, reactionaries amongst Nanotrasen ranks helped to encourage [furred products] though it was soon found out to be sourced from [black market chop shops] that were only legalised in Nanotrasen trade networks due to either executive dislike for Felinids or executive mistrust of coming back alive after going for surgery at an Animal Rights Consortium facility, depending on which rumours you hear in maintenance.

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Roleplay

";Nya!"


Jobs on

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Special CentCom Official, Death Squad Officer, Emergency Response Officer, Chrono Legionnaire, Highlander, Ian