Wizard
| ENEMY STAFF | |
 Wizard |
Access: None Additional Access: Wherever you can teleport to Difficulty: Very Hard Supervisors: Space Wizard Federation Rank: Not defined Duties: Welcome the crew to DIE. Guides: This is the guide Quote: FORTI GY AMA |
Crew members of SS13, I offer you my sincerest greetings. My name is of no matter, but if you must call me something, you may call me The QuarterWizard. I would like to inform you that I am the noble leader of the Wizards Federation.
You may be wondering, "Why, why mighty QuarterWizard, why do you send wizards to the station to destroy us all?"
Well, denizen of the station, it's quite simple really: One or more of your crew has angered our magical Federation, and now you will all pay the price.
If you're lucky enough to only have certain members of the crew anger us, like that geneticist who once claimed that us magical folk are merely "products of genetics research", then you're more than likely to survive, assuming you give our wizard the means to escape early on. If not, well... Not even I, the mighty QuarterWizard can guarantee your safety. We train our wizards to be masters of many spells, so there is no saying how exactly you will succumb to our mighty wizards.
But, for you lesser beings, I have archived a list of our most common spells, so as to assist you simpletons in identifying just how skilled and varied our wizards can be. 
Dress to Kill
If you are a Wizard, then remember to keep your wizard hat and robes on. Not only are they the latest in wizarding fashion, they are also a powerful magical amplifier. If you lose those, you are in a boatload of trouble.
Do everything in your power to keep your skirt on. Hurl spells, throw rocks, shout hurtful names at them. Whatever you do, don't let them touch the clothes.
Preparation
You start on board a Wizard Ship. You have 10 spell points to spend.
Use the Wizard's Ship you start in to familiarize yourself with the spells before you teleport onto the station. You can even re-learn the spells as often as you'd like as long as you're here. Take your time. No need to jump in right away.
Min-Maxing
You can take any of your spells multiple times to upgrade them, generally giving them a lower cooldown.
Quartermaster Costume Party
If you can, masquerade as a Quartermaster Supply Wizard. Not only will you look like the most powerful wizard of all time, but people may be liable to turn a blind eye to your presence. Combine this with some quick spellwork and you may just kill a bunch of people without getting caught.
Robed Spells
These spells require the Wizard's POWERFUL, MYSTICAL ROBES AND HAT. So wizards, for your own sakes, never take off your robes.
| Spell name | Invocation | Description | Cooldown in seconds |
Cost |
| Attack Spells | ||||
| Fireball | ONI'SOMA! | Summons a destructive fireball in the caster's hand. When thrown it will detonate when adjacent to a target, blinding and deafening him and anyone around him, as well as dealing high damage and usually knockdown. Fireballs are dangerous, though: they will damage the caster as well, if he ends up in the blast radius. Can be casted while stunned. | 6 / 5 / 4 / 3 / 2 | 2 |
| Rod Form | CLANG! | Take the form of a mighty immovable rod, capable of tearing walls down, destroy machinery and critically injure anyone foolish enough to stand in your path! | 25 / 21.2 / 17.5 / 13.7 / 10 | 3 |
| Disintegrate | EI NATH! | This spell will charge your hand with a powerful energy that can blow up the next person or cyborg that you touch. Their brain will still be recoverable, but definitely hard to clone; you will also make no friends with either the crew or the ghosts observing you, as it is seen as a cheap way to kill. | 60 / 50 / 40 /30 / 20 | 2 |
| Mutate | BIRUZ BENNAR! | Temporarily transforms the wizard into a stun-immune superhuman being, capable of destroying walls with their massive strength and of shooting lasers using their massive minds. To shoot lasers, use harm intent and click on a non-adjacent target. | 40 / 37.5 / 35 / 32.5 / 30 | 2 |
| Flesh to Stone | STAUN EI! | Can turn even the angriest crew member into a comparatively calm statue. The spell will wear off eventually but is useful for neutralizing threats non-fatally or creating emergency cover. Keep in mind that when the spell wears off if the statue isn't in good shape anymore the crew member won't be either. Instead of gibbing the target and leaving a brain it turns the target into a solid statue. However after a certain amount of time the statue will revert back to the original target. By itself it's just a gimmick -- players turned into stone won't count as dead for objective purposes. However when this spell is paired with the "Staff of Animation" this becomes a spell even more devastating than Ei Nath or Fireballs.
(tl;dr: Use it with a Staff of Animation or just use Ei Nath.) |
60 / 50 / 40 / 30 / 20 | 2 |
| Tesla Blast | UN'LTD P'WAH! | Blast lightning at your foes! | 30 / 25 / 20 / 15 / 10 | 2 |
| Lightning Bolt | UN'LTD P'WAH | Charges a lightning blast over time. When it finishes channeling (you can move while charging) it will shoot lightning bolts to every mob nearby, dealing damage and stunning them. | 20 / 15.7 / 11.5 / 7.2 / 3 | 3 |
| Lesser Summon Guns | N/A | Why reload when you have infinite guns? Summons an unending stream of bolt action rifles. Requires both hands free to use. Learning this spell makes you unable to learn Arcane Barrage. | 75 / 56.3 / 38 / 19.3 / 1 | 3 |
| Arcane Barrage | N/A | Fire a torrent of arcane energy at your foes with this (powerful) spell. Requires both hands free to use. Learning this spell makes you unable to learn Lesser Summon Gun. | 75 / 56.3 / 38 / 19.3 / 1 | 3 |
| Defense Spells | ||||
| Magic Missile | FORTI GY AMA! | The bread and butter of most wizards. This spell summons little magical orbs that chase nearby targets, stunning them on hit. While slow, the orbs track their targets, making them very hard to avoid. Every target will have its own orb, so there's no limit to the amount of targets as long as they're in range. | 20 / 16.5 / 13 / 9.5 / 6 | 2 |
| Disable Technology | NEC CANTIO! | An EMP: disables all technology within range of the spell. Be wary -- it can shock doors. | 40 / 35 / 30 / 25 / 20 | 1 |
| Repulse | GITTAH WEIGH! | Throws everything around the user away. Also knocks down crewmen for a short stun. Items that are thrown can fly into crew as well, which has potential to deal moderate damage. A good choice when used with Blink to make for quick getaways. | 40 / 37.5 / 35 / 32.5 / 30 | 2 |
| Throw Lightning | Forged from eldrich energies, a packet of pure power, known as a spell packet will appear in your hand, that when thrown will stun the target. | 1 | 2 | |
| Stop Time | TOKI WO TOMARE! | Stops time in a 3x3 area around you. Affected mobs will be unable to move, and passing projectiles will be stopped until the timestop ends. This means it can be used to unload a laser gun into a target all at once. The caster, is, of course, unaffected by this spell. | 50 / 40 / 30 / 20 / 10 | 2 |
| Spacetime Distortion | N/A | Will distort the space around you, making it so walking on any of the distorted tiles could lead you to another random distorted tile. Will affect the caster too. | 30 | 1 |
| The Traps | CAVERE INSIDIAS | Summons various traps around you that will trigger upon being walked on or if an object is thrown over/across them. All untriggered traps disappear 5 minutes after the spell is cast. Includes fire, shock, ice and stun traps among others. You are, of course, immune to your own traps. | 25 / 21.25 / 17.5 / 13.75 / 10 | 1 |
| Mobility Spells | ||||
| Blink | N/A | A lesser form of teleportation. The wizard has no ability to control it, and it will usually send him a good distance, but it has a very short cooldown. | 2 / 1.6 / 1.2 / 0.8 / 0.5 | 2 |
| Teleport | SCYAR NILA! | Instantly transports a space wizard to any location he pleases, as long as it's within range (the Z-level you're on). | 60 / 50 / 40 / 30 / 20 | 2 |
| Ethereal Jaunt | N/A | After casting this spell the wizard dissolves into thin air, becoming invisible to both eye and thermal sensors, as well as being able to pass through any obstacle. This spell lasts for several seconds. If the wizard was stunned while casting this, he won't be able to move until the stun wears off. | 30 / 25 / 20 / 15 / 10 | 2 |
Robeless Spells
There are many other spells that do not require THE EXTRA MIGHT of a magic wizard robe. These spells are weaker, but nothing to laugh at.
| Spell name | Invocation | Description | Cooldown in seconds |
Cost |
| Attack Spells | ||||
| Blind | STI KALY! | Blinds an individual temporarily. | 30 / 23.7 / 17.5 / 11.2 / 5 | 1 |
| Curse of the barnyard | KN'A`FTAGHU,`PUCK`'BTHNK! | This spell dooms an unlucky soul to possess the speech and facial attributes of a barnyard animal. Anyone unfortunate enough to be targeted with this spell cannot remove the mask without the help of chemistry and can only communicate with obnoxious animal noises. For when you just don't give a fuck. | 15 / 12 / 9 / 6 / 3 | 2 |
| Defense Spells | ||||
| Smoke | N/A | A large shroud of smoke. It can hide the wizard, and makes people in it cough causing them to drop items. | 12 / 9.5 / 7 / 4.5 / 2 | 1 |
| Forcewall | TARCOL MINTI ZHERI! | Prevents the simpletons from traveling over a 1x3 area. The wall lasts 30 seconds and are indestructible. The caster can pass freely through it. | 10 / 8.7 / 7.5 / 6.2 / 5 | 1 |
| Bind Soul | NECREM IMORTIUM! | A dark necromantic pact that can forever bind your soul to an item of your choosing. So long as both your body and the item remain intact and on the same plane you can revive from death, though the time between reincarnations grows steadily with use, along with the weakness that the new skeleton body will experience upon 'birth'. Note that becoming a lich destroys all internal organs except the brain. | N/A | 2 |
| Mobility Spells | ||||
| Mind Swap (aka Mind Transfer) |
GIN'YU CAPAN! | Swaps the minds of the wizard and victim, best used if the wizard is being beaten in a physical battle. Mindswap targets will be unconscious for quite some time. Only works at melee range. | 60 / 50 / 40 / 30 / 20 | 2 |
| Knock | AULIE OXIN FIERA! | Opens any doors within range, no matter what type. Also opens bolted doors and locked closets. | 10 / 8 / 6 / 4 / 2 | 1 |
| Assistance Spells | ||||
| Instant Summons (aka Summon Item) |
GAR YOK | Allows you to mark an item. After this, you can use the spell to summon that item to your hand whenever you want. Vital when you plan to use a magic staff, or you'll end up getting it stolen from you. If the item is within a container, the whole container will be teleported to you. | 10 | 1 |
| Charge | DI'RI CEL! | Useful for recharging magical artifacts that typically run dry after a few shots. They've also been used in the past by enterprising wizards to recharge other things like energy weapons, spellbooks, and even other wizards! Care should be used in over-reliance on this ability though, as magical items tend to run down if repeatedly recharged. | 60 / 55 / 50 / 45 / 40 | 1 |
| Shapechange (aka Wild Shapeshift) |
RAC'WA NO! | Allows you to choose an animal form. You can choose between a mouse (can ventcrawl), a corgi, a chaos magicarp, an ED209 bot, or a juggernaut. Once you choose your form you won't be able to pick the others; you can swap to this form and back to human by using the spell. | 20 / 16.2 / 12.5 / 8.7 / 5 | 1 |
Artifacts
These are not spells but tools that can be used by anyone. Extremely dangerous to a wizard should one of the crew members pick them up.
Magical staves, swords and hammers generally never fit in backpacks or bags, and must be worn in the back slot.
| Icon | Artifact name | Description | Cost | |
| Attack | ||||
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Staff of Change | Allows the wizard to randomly change anyone and anything into an alien, slime, lizardman, cyborg, Syndicate cyborg, monkey, or more! Holds up to 6 charges, and recharges one every 4 seconds. | 2 | |
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Staff of Chaos | Shoots random magic bolts. Charges faster and can hold more shots than other staves: it holds up to 10 charges, and recharges one every 2 seconds. | 2 | |
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Spellblade | A fairly robust sword with 50% block chance, that can shoot out magic bolts that deal 15 fire damage with some armor penetration that have a high chance of dismembering the limbs it's aimed at. Holds up to 4 charges, and recharges one every 4 seconds. | 2 | |
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Mjolnir | The mighty hammer of Thor. Striking your foes with it will send them flying away frow you, also stunning them, and can be thrown to achieve the same effect. | 2 | |
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Singularity Hammer | A hammer that creates a powerful gravitational field around its target, pulling everything towards it on hit. | 2 | |
| Defense | ||||
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Staff of Healing | Shoots bolts that can fully heal the living and raise the dead. | 1 | |
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Scrying Orb | Summoning this crackling orb of energy will grant you permanent X-ray vision in addition to allowing you to ghost while alive, letting you speak with any dead souls. A deceptively powerful tool for spying, essential for the elusive stealth wizard. Don't forget about your body while you're scrying, though! | 2 | |
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Wand Assortment | A belt that comes of one of each useful wand; unlike staves, they do not regenerate their shots. | 2 | |
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Mastercrafted armor | A magic-gem-encrusted spacesuit, it functions the same as normal wizard robes, plus being space-worthy and armored. Minor slowdown. Now you can cast spells in space and low temperature places! | 2 | |
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Battlemage armor | An ensorcelled suit of armour, protected by a powerful shield. The shield can completly negate sixteen attacks before being permanently depleted. | 2 | |
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Battlemage armor charge | A powerful defensive rune, it will grant eight additional charges to a suit of battlemage armour. | 1 | |
| Mobility | ||||
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Staff of Door Creation | Works the same as the wand of door creation. There is apparently demand for this! Holds up to 10 charges, and recharges one every 2 seconds. | 1 | |
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Warp whistle | A strange whistle that will transport you to a distant safe place on the station. There is a window of vulnerability at the begining of every use. | 1 | |
| Assistance | ||||
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Staff of Animation | A deadly weapon for a wizard who likes to steamroll their opposition. The staff of animation will shoot a bolt that brings whatever object it hits (besides complex machinery, tables or windows) to life. The animated object will then move and attack everyone in range but the person who spawned it (which is hopefully you). In combination with the Flesh to Stone spell, the Staff of Animation can be used to create player-controlled statues. These statues have a wide selection of unique powers (of the "MY EYES!" variety), are near-invincible and receive explicit instructions to not harm or kill the Wizard. However, these statues may also blind you. Holds up to 6 charges, and recharges one every 4 seconds. | 2 | |
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Six Soul Stone Shards | A belt filled with 6 soulstone shards that can can be used to trap and enslave the spirits of your friends! You also gain the spell Artificer, which lets you spawn a shell every 60 seconds. Unlike other artifacts, this cannot be used by the crew. | 2 | |
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Necromantic Stone | This stone will allow you to raise up to three dead people as skeletal servants. | 2 | |
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Contract of Apprenticeship | A magical contract binding an apprentice wizard to your service, using it will summon them to your side. Using this contract will send a prompt to ghost who have wizard enabled as a role: should any answer yes, after 15 seconds you will find yourself with a brand new alcolyte. Should they answer no, or if there are no ghosts at the moment, you can try again later or refund the contract by clicking the spellbook with it. If you do keep yours around note that contracts can be used by non-wizards too. When you use the contract you are able to choose from four sets of two spells for the apprentice to learn. Destruction: Fireball + Magic Missile |
2 | |
 
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Guardian deck | A deck of tarot cards, capable of binding a personal guardian to your body. There are multiple types of guardian available, but all of them will transfer some amount of damage to you. It would be wise to avoid buying these with anything capable of causing you to swap bodies with others. Types of guardian: |
2 | |
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Bottle of Blood | This bottle of blood, when broken, will attract a Slaughter Demon, which can bloodcrawl and will kill indiscriminately. It does not serve you and it'll try to kill you if it gets the chance, but it can decimate an unarmed crew. Maximum of 3. | 2 | |
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Bottle of Tickles | This bottle of tickles, when broken, will attract a Laughter Demon. It will try to prank the crew (and you) by tickling them to submission. The only effective difference from a slaughter demon is that when killed it will revive all of the corpses it has eaten, because it was just a prank, bro. Maximum of 3. | 1 | |
Rituals
| Invocation | Description | Cost |
| Summon Guns | A strong spell that can be used only once. Summons a random weapon at everyone's feet (excluding the feet belonging to you or any apprentices), arming the crew to fight you and alerting them of your presence. A portion of the crew will also gain a survival objective, causing chaos as the crew fights one another. | 2 |
| Summon Magic | Grants the crew an assortment of various trinkets from the legendary wizard self storage box. The assortment is wide and varies wildly in usefulness, but will always alert the crew of your presence and can make them a dangerous threat to you. Similarly to Summon Guns, this spell will make part of the crew gain a survival objective. | 2 |
| Summon Events | Replaces all random events with an assortment of magical wizard events, from cursed items to random name-swaps to LAVA FLOORS and more! Subject the station to a storm of mass chaos! The more times you cast Summon Events, the more often they will occur. | 2 |
Magical Items
Wands, unlike staves, do not recharge over time. They can be recharged with the Charge spell, but even then they may lose maximum charges after every charge. One-use spellbooks teach a spell to the first user. Everyone that reads it subsequently will instead trigger a recoil effect, usually harming the reader.
| Wands | Charges | |
 Wand of Death:
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Can and will kill anything instantly. Nasty, nasty stuff. | 3 |
 Wand of Healing:
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This wand uses healing magics to heal the living and revive the dead. Rarely utilized, for some reason. | 10 |
 Wand of Polymorph:
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For when you just need a change. Be careful if using on yourself, as many potential forms lack arms to wield the wand! | 10 |
 Wand of Teleportation:
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Will rip up and scatter anyone or anything caught in its path. Unlike teleportation spells employed by the wizard, this wand makes no qualms about depositing teleportees in space, fires, or the center of a black hole. | 10 |
 Wand of Door Creation:
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For when you need an easy way out. Point at a solid wall and fire -- who needs ID cards in this day and age? | 20 |
 Wand of Fireball:
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Useful for burning those you don't like and everyone else too. Point away from face. | 8 |
| Books | Recoil Effect | |
 Book of Smoke
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This book is overflowing with the dank arts. Teaches ONE user smoke. | Makes the user extremely hungry. |
 Book of Sacred Flame
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Become one with the flames that burn within... and invite others to do so as well. Teaches ONE user sacred flame. Sacred flame ignites you and those around you on fire, get protective gear |
Glows ominously, but does nothing. |
 Book of Mindswap
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This book's cover is pristine, though its pages look ragged and torn. Teaches ONE user mindswap. | Does nothing to the first user; when a second user reads it, the users' minds will be swapped. |
 Book of Knock
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This book is hard to hold closed properly. Teaches ONE user knock | User is knocked down for a long time. |
 Book of Forcewall
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This book has a dedication to mimes everywhere inside the front cover. Teaches ONE user forcewall. | User is petrified for a minute. |
 Book of Instant Summon
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This book is bright and garish, very hard to miss. Teaches ONE user instant summon. | The book vanishes. |
 Book of Fireball
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This book feels warm to the touch. Teaches ONE user fireball. | Causes an explosion centered on the user. |
 Book of Charging
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This book is made of 100% post-consumer wizard. Teaches ONE user charge. | Emits a short-ranged EMP pulse. |
 Book of Blind
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This book looks blurry, no matter how you look at it. Teaches ONE user blind. | User is blinded for some time. |
 Book of Barnyard Curse
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This book is more horse than your mind has room for. Teaches ONE user the barnyard curse. | Casts barnyard on the user. |
The AI and You!
NOTICE: THE WIZ IS HUMAN (unless he is a lizard wizard or a Skeleton)
Usually, when you go on your long space adventure, you come across an AI.
The AI will either be nice to you and attempt to protect you from the evil crew, or it will track you the whole time, and attempt to trap you! (Luckily, you have been trained by the greatest!) If this happens, go into the AI core, and see how he can track you while it's dead.
If you're feeling nice and don't mind being stunned a few times, you can always pop into the upload! When you get inside, take a Freeform module, pop out, and make nice law explaining how you are practically god of the station, and return to the upload, and of course, upload it!
After that, the AI will be very nice to you, and serve you, his master.
A Friendly Wizard
So you've been made a wizard but don't feel like going on a murderboner and would rather live peacefully among the crew? No problem! The staff are usually very friendly towards wizards [CITATION VERY MUCH NEEDED] if they announce themselves to be friendly and the AI is programmed not to harm them. So pop over to the HoP escorted by the Captain/HoS and request to be part of the station! Who knows, maybe you can be the Janitor! Just remember that you are by law and backstory an enemy of Nanotrasen. Don't get mad when some magic-hating sociopath tries to kill you. They'll try.
Suggested Starting Loadouts
Your first time playing as a Wizard can be disorientating and very hard, but also demanding. Just figuring out what spells to take is half the gamemode onto itself, the other half is utilising those spells. As such this section will detail some basic, but robust, starting Wizard loadouts.
You only get five spells to chose, meaning your spell loadout will be limited. So don't overspecialise.
Stock
- Magic Missile
- Disintegrate
- Ethereal Jaunt
- Blink
- Knock
A basic, but robust set up. Gives you good offensive and defensive capabilities that favour hit and run attacks.
Using Ethereal Jaunt to launch a ambush, then using Magic Missiles to grant you a effective area stun attack while Disintegrate lets you quickly dispatch a single target. Blink and Knock offer a effective fallback to escaping a bad situation or if you screw up.
Disintegrate is often considered unsporting, though, so expect dead chat to be mad at you if/when you die.
Offensive
- Magic Missile
- Disable Technology
- Mutate
- Disintegrate OR Fireball
- Blink
Heavily oriented around attacking and killing the crew, you suffer from very little defensive spells, thus relying on being robust enough to kill anyone before they become a threat.
This loadout focuses on Magic Missiles and Mutate in order to kill, as well as either Disintegrate or Fireball to help deliver the coup de grâce. Disable Technology is effective in sapping all energy from Security Officers weapons while Blink offers a small defensive spell to get out of a bad spot.
Defensive
- Magic Missile
- Teleport
- Ethereal Jaunt
- Blink
- Smoke OR offensive spell
This loadout focuses on survivability almost exclusively. You're going to have to rely on stealing station weapons in order to kill people, however you yourself will be really hard to kill as you have a large array of defensive and retreat spells to use.
Stealth
CHOOSE A REALISTIC NAME.
No Robes
- Fireball
- Knock
- Mind Swap
- 2x Free Robeless Spells
A dangerous and advanced loadout, this set up relies on stealth, evasion and confusion to get the job done. However this can prove effective in avoiding getting shot and pulling of outrageous tasks.
If you're discovered you will have few defensive or offensive abilities to employ, Fireball is your only main offensive spell, taking either Blind or Smoke can help in avoiding targets and Forcefield can help keep away pursuers.
These loadouts are meant as a general guide on a simple loadout to use. We highly recommend you experiment with any spell combination when you can.
Tips
- While knocked down, you can still cast most of your spells, with a few exceptions: jaunt will make you invulnerable, but you won't move until the stun runs out, and touch-based spells like disintegrate will need you to attack the target.
- Someone in the "Unconcious" state can be instantly Soul Sharded, regardless of health. Anyone under 50% HP can be KO'd by a briefcase with 100% reliability. See that assistant that burned himself to shit on the door? Briefcase bonk, shard.
- Suicide bombing is a very easy way to kill a wizard. Welderbombings can also knock the wizard out if he's not very good.
- Removing a wizard's hat or robes will often render him completely impotent, as very, VERY few wizards carry spare hats in their backpack. Acid or fire smoke grenades work well for stripping their hats. Muzzling them also makes them unable to cast most spells if you can actually hold down a wizard long enough.
- The Staff of Animation can animate holographic objects. They retain their 'force' and do not disappear when they leave the holodeck/the holodeck is shut off. So you can load up the thunder dome simulation over and over for infinite E-sword buddies.
- Wizard EMP shocks doors, so you should not better use doors as wizard, after you use EMP skill. Also the staff of animation is even more OP then veil render, just use it on knifes, hatchets and other items of big robustness. Combine this with EMPing security guys, which approach you and mutating in hulk, when you see guys with syringe guns (however, if chemist is not mainstream and deploys lexorin or unstable mutagen, you would get outrobusted) for greater effects.
- The wizard's Knock spell opens bolted doors too.
- The staff of change works on AIs.
- Mindswap does not work on megafauna.
- Mindswap works on silicons, but it does not allow you to bypass the laws. If you want to be the magical AI you've always dreamed of, remember to purge the laws first.
...Now, fearless follower of the Wizards Space Federation..
I have but one question for you, now that I revealed all this knowledge to you,
Will you be ready?
With Love,
The QuarterWizard
