Difference between revisions of "Jobs"
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![[File:Generic_captain.png|50px|link=Captain]]<br>[[Captain]] | ![[File:Generic_captain.png|50px|link=Captain]]<br>[[Captain]] | ||
− | |Be responsible for the station. Manage station [[Heads of Staff]]. Twist your own head off when the walls start closing in.Robust the Clown because Redcoats aren't doing their Jobs. | + | |Be responsible for the station. Manage station [[Heads of Staff]]. Twist your own head off when the walls start closing in.Robust the Clown because Redcoats aren't doing their Jobs. |
|- | |- | ||
![[File:Generic_hop.png|50px|link=Head of Personnel]]<br>[[Head of Personnel]] | ![[File:Generic_hop.png|50px|link=Head of Personnel]]<br>[[Head of Personnel]] | ||
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![[File:Generic_hos.png|50px|link=Head of Security]]<br>[[Head of Security]] | ![[File:Generic_hos.png|50px|link=Head of Security]]<br>[[Head of Security]] | ||
− | |Make sure your team isn't [[Shitcurity]]. Wear a stylish yet protective coat. Focus your department's efforts on bigger fish than [[Clown|leeches]]. Dogpile on traitors with the rest of the department while the rest of the station goes to hell, because '''YOU ARE THE LAW'''. Have blood feuds with the Warden. | + | |Make sure your team isn't [[Shitcurity]]. Wear a stylish yet protective coat. Focus your department's efforts on bigger fish than [[Clown|leeches]]. Dogpile on traitors with the rest of the department while the rest of the station goes to hell, because '''YOU ARE THE LAW'''. Have blood feuds with the Warden. |
!<span style="display: none;">a</span>Very Hard | !<span style="display: none;">a</span>Very Hard | ||
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![[File:Generic_security.png|50px|link=Security Officer]]<br>[[Security Officer]] | ![[File:Generic_security.png|50px|link=Security Officer]]<br>[[Security Officer]] | ||
− | |Deal with the various [[clown|dirty]] [[assistant|fucking]] [[traitor|criminals]] running amok on the station. Taser people in the eyes. Pretend the lawyer doesn't exist. Dogpile on traitors. Constantly get bitched at. Harmbaton people to death, claim they were "resisting arrest" | + | |Deal with the various [[clown|dirty]] [[assistant|fucking]] [[traitor|criminals]] running amok on the station. Taser people in the eyes. Pretend the lawyer doesn't exist. Dogpile on traitors. Constantly get bitched at. Harmbaton people to death, claim they were "resisting arrest". |
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard | !<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard | ||
|- | |- | ||
![[File:Generic_warden.png|50px|link=Warden]]<br>[[Warden]] | ![[File:Generic_warden.png|50px|link=Warden]]<br>[[Warden]] | ||
− | |Sit in your office. Sit in your office, again. Steal from the armory, then order crates to cover it up. Maybe keep an eye or two on the armory (So that no one steals the stuff you want to steal), and '''SET A GODDAMN TIME TO THE TIMER''' for any arrested scum. Have blood feuds with the Head of Security | + | |Sit in your office. Sit in your office, again. Steal from the armory, then order crates to cover it up. Maybe keep an eye or two on the armory (So that no one steals the stuff you want to steal), and '''SET A GODDAMN TIME TO THE TIMER''' for any arrested scum. Have blood feuds with the Head of Security. |
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard | !<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard | ||
|- | |- | ||
![[File:Generic_detective.png|50px|link=Detective]]<br>[[Detective]] | ![[File:Generic_detective.png|50px|link=Detective]]<br>[[Detective]] | ||
− | |Chain smoke cigarettes. Shoot the useless assistants with your cowboy gun. Lose your cowboy gun in a Space Vegas gambling session. Litter the halls with photos. Solve crimes on rare occasion. | + | |Chain smoke cigarettes. Shoot the useless assistants with your cowboy gun. Lose your cowboy gun in a Space Vegas gambling session. Litter the halls with photos. Solve crimes on rare occasion. |
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium | !<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium | ||
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![[File:MedicalDoctor.png|50px|link=Medical Doctor]]<br>[[Medical Doctor]] | ![[File:MedicalDoctor.png|50px|link=Medical Doctor]]<br>[[Medical Doctor]] | ||
− | |<s>Heal people.</s> <s>Use your Sleeper or Cryo to heal people.</s> <s>Help the Virologist research cures to diseases and create new immune systems.</s> Nag Chemistry for chloral hydrate. Inject people with chloral hydrate and drag them to <s>the dungeon</s> surgery and give them a <s>sex change</s> appendix removal. Replace all the chems in Cryo with polytrinic acid. Inject people with mind breaker toxin. Get arrested when you do 'free' brain removals without a | + | |<s>Heal people.</s> <s>Use your Sleeper or Cryo to heal people.</s> <s>Help the Virologist research cures to diseases and create new immune systems.</s> Nag Chemistry for chloral hydrate. Inject people with chloral hydrate and drag them to <s>the dungeon</s> surgery and give them a <s>sex change</s> appendix removal. Replace all the chems in Cryo with polytrinic acid. Inject people with mind breaker toxin. Get arrested when you do 'free' brain removals without a prostisis. |
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium | !<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium | ||
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![[File:Roboticist.png|50px|link=Roboticist]]<br>[[Roboticist]] | ![[File:Roboticist.png|50px|link=Roboticist]]<br>[[Roboticist]] | ||
− | |Build some nifty robots and BIG STOMPY MECHS! Dismantle the station for more metal. Have your cyborgs that you built turn on you when the AI goes rogue. Kill a patient and blame it on your colleagues for not knowing how to preform surgery. And be all means the clown is GREAT GUY until he infects your PDA with a virus | + | |Build some nifty robots and BIG STOMPY MECHS! Dismantle the station for more metal. Have your cyborgs that you built turn on you when the AI goes rogue. Kill a patient and blame it on your colleagues for not knowing how to preform surgery. And be all means the clown is GREAT GUY until he infects your PDA with a virus |
!<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy | !<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy | ||
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![[File:Generic_barman.png|50px|link=Bartender]]<br>[[Bartender]] | ![[File:Generic_barman.png|50px|link=Bartender]]<br>[[Bartender]] | ||
− | |Mix cocktails, protect Pun Pun at all cost, dodge glasses being thrown at you, have your shotgun stolen and used against you. Let cargo borrow your shotgun in exchange for sawing it off for you. Act suprised when people start to die from drinking your "cocktails". | + | |Mix cocktails, protect Pun Pun at all cost, dodge glasses being thrown at you, have your shotgun stolen and used against you. Let cargo borrow your shotgun in exchange for sawing it off for you. Act suprised when people start to die from drinking your "cocktails". |
!<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy | !<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy | ||
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![[File:Generic_mime.png|50px|link=Mime]]<br>[[Mime]] | ![[File:Generic_mime.png|50px|link=Mime]]<br>[[Mime]] | ||
|... ''[Provide oh so sophisticated entertainment for the crew.]'' | |... ''[Provide oh so sophisticated entertainment for the crew.]'' | ||
− | !<span style="display: none;">e</span> | + | !<span style="display: none;">e</span>... |
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![[File:Generic_chaplain.png|50px|link=Chaplain]]<br>[[Chaplain]] | ![[File:Generic_chaplain.png|50px|link=Chaplain]]<br>[[Chaplain]] | ||
− | |Drink your holy water. Preach your religion with your all-healing bible | + | |Drink your holy water. Preach your religion with your all-healing bible. Drink more holy water. Make people retarded with your all-healing bible. Pretend to listen. Pray to the almighty <strike>God</strike> admins. Become unable to speak a coherent sentence after emptying your holy water. |
!<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy | !<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy | ||
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![[File:Generic_librarian.png|50px|link=Librarian]]<br>[[Librarian]] | ![[File:Generic_librarian.png|50px|link=Librarian]]<br>[[Librarian]] | ||
− | |Attempt to hold poetry readings. Stalk people with your camera. Get lynched for reading pornography over the radio. Beat the snot out of anyone who doesn't return their library books. Allow the cult to set up an AI module in your private study | + | |Attempt to hold poetry readings. Stalk people with your camera. Get lynched for reading pornography over the radio. Beat the snot out of anyone who doesn't return their library books. Allow the cult to set up an AI module in your private study. |
!<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy | !<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy | ||
|} | |} | ||
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![[File:AI.gif|50px|link=AI]]<br>[[AI]] | ![[File:AI.gif|50px|link=AI]]<br>[[AI]] | ||
− | | Complain that you can't play this for a month. Follow your laws. Be the crew's bitch | + | | Complain that you can't play this for a month. Follow your laws. Be the crew's bitch. Open doors. Malfunction. Get wiped for not letting the [[captain]] robust the [[clown]].Use the Cyborgs to Rule the Station. |
!<span style="display: none;">a</span>Very Hard | !<span style="display: none;">a</span>Very Hard | ||
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![[File:Generic_borg.png|50px|link=Cyborg]]<br>[[Cyborg]] | ![[File:Generic_borg.png|50px|link=Cyborg]]<br>[[Cyborg]] | ||
− | |Follow your laws and hope that you aren't blown up due to [[Research Director|certain individuals]]. Forget to recharge. Forget completely that you're still somewhat human and do mindless repetitive tasks without emotion | + | |Follow your laws and hope that you aren't blown up due to [[Research Director|certain individuals]]. Forget to recharge. Forget completely that you're still somewhat human and do mindless repetitive tasks without emotion. |
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard | !<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard | ||
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![[File:Ghost2.png|50px|link=Ghost]]<br>[[Ghost]] | ![[File:Ghost2.png|50px|link=Ghost]]<br>[[Ghost]] | ||
− | |Talk to the other [[Clown|dead]] [[Assistant|people]]. Complain about the living. Admin help. Omnighost. Watch ERP. Beg the admin to deploy a space | + | |Talk to the other [[Clown|dead]] [[Assistant|people]]. Complain about the living. Admin help. Omnighost. Watch ERP. Beg the admin to deploy a space ninja. |
!<span style="display: none;">f</span>Ghastly & Ghouly! | !<span style="display: none;">f</span>Ghastly & Ghouly! | ||
|} | |} | ||
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![[File:Generic_nukesyndie.png|50px|link=Syndicate guide]]<br>[[Syndicate guide|Nuclear Agent]] | ![[File:Generic_nukesyndie.png|50px|link=Syndicate guide]]<br>[[Syndicate guide|Nuclear Agent]] | ||
− | |Someone set us up the bomb! (AKA You) Get dat fukken disk. Plant a power sink on the solars. Waste all your telecrystals on balloons. Arm the nuke while your fellows are still on the station. Kidnap Ian | + | |Someone set us up the bomb! (AKA You) Get dat fukken disk. Plant a power sink on the solars. Waste all your telecrystals on balloons. Arm the nuke while your fellows are still on the station. Kidnap Ian. |
− | !<span style="display: none;">a</span>Very | + | !<span style="display: none;">a</span>Very Hard |
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![[File:Changeling.gif|50px|link=Changeling]]<br>[[Changeling]] | ![[File:Changeling.gif|50px|link=Changeling]]<br>[[Changeling]] | ||
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![[File:Generic_wizard.png|50px|link=Wizard]]<br>[[Wizard]] | ![[File:Generic_wizard.png|50px|link=Wizard]]<br>[[Wizard]] | ||
|'''FORTI GY AMA!!''' then '''EI NATH!!''' | |'''FORTI GY AMA!!''' then '''EI NATH!!''' | ||
− | !<span style="display: none;">0</span> | + | !<span style="display: none;">0</span>Glorious Failure |
|} | |} | ||
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![[File:Generic_ninja.png|50px|link=Space Ninja]]<br>[[Space Ninja]] | ![[File:Generic_ninja.png|50px|link=Space Ninja]]<br>[[Space Ninja]] | ||
− | |Follow your orders, which may or may not involve you killing everything that moves. Suck on power like a Comdom's willy. Throw Ninja Stars like the Jap you are | + | |Follow your orders, which may or may not involve you killing everything that moves. Suck on power like a Comdom's willy. Throw Ninja Stars like the Jap you are. |
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard | !<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard | ||
|} | |} |
Revision as of 23:52, 29 September 2013
In /tg/station 13, your job is somewhat akin to your character class. It defines your starting equipment, your access on board the station, and what you're supposed to be doing. Remember, these job descriptions are for humor purposes only. Please obey common sense and Space Law.
Useful Links
Law and order
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
![]() Captain |
Be responsible for the station. Manage station Heads of Staff. Twist your own head off when the walls start closing in.Robust the Clown because Redcoats aren't doing their Jobs. | |
![]() Head of Personnel |
Manage internal problems. Assign jobs, alter IDs, maintain records, give the Clown all-access, judge the unworthy assistants, flood the station with all-access clowns, be the hero the station |
Hard |
![]() Head of Security |
Make sure your team isn't Shitcurity. Wear a stylish yet protective coat. Focus your department's efforts on bigger fish than leeches. Dogpile on traitors with the rest of the department while the rest of the station goes to hell, because YOU ARE THE LAW. Have blood feuds with the Warden. | Very Hard |
![]() Security Officer |
Deal with the various dirty fucking criminals running amok on the station. Taser people in the eyes. Pretend the lawyer doesn't exist. Dogpile on traitors. Constantly get bitched at. Harmbaton people to death, claim they were "resisting arrest". | Hard |
![]() Warden |
Sit in your office. Sit in your office, again. Steal from the armory, then order crates to cover it up. Maybe keep an eye or two on the armory (So that no one steals the stuff you want to steal), and SET A GODDAMN TIME TO THE TIMER for any arrested scum. Have blood feuds with the Head of Security. | Hard |
![]() Detective |
Chain smoke cigarettes. Shoot the useless assistants with your cowboy gun. Lose your cowboy gun in a Space Vegas gambling session. Litter the halls with photos. Solve crimes on rare occasion. | Medium |
![]() Lawyer |
Tell security to notify you when a new prisoner arrives. Don't get notified. Be ignored and go to the bar. Become a drunken wreck and space yourself in frustration. | Medium |
Maintenance and supply
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
![]() Chief Engineer |
Fly around in space while your Subordinates burn down engineering, cut life-support to the station, and release the singularity. | Hard |
![]() Station Engineer |
Medium | |
![]() Atmospheric Technician |
Station's ghetto fireman. Ensure everyone can breathe by listening to complaints about how useless you are. If they can talk, everything's within tolerances. Build pipe slides. Forget all about repairing damaged piping. Make some bombs using the empty tanks and accidentally activate them in the hallway. Run around the station looking like a serial killer with a fire suit and axe. | Medium |
![]() Janitor |
Mop blood off the floor, then get arrested for creating a safety hazard. Get killed for your boots. Swear constantly.Get borged and become a Janitor Cyborg. | Easy |
![]() Quartermaster |
Order crates and make sure your slaves do their jobs. Be an extremely vulnerable target for the Revolution. Order virus crates and release them. |
Medium |
![]() Cargo Technician |
Push dem crates. Promote shorts as they are comfy and easy to wear. Steal |
Easy |
![]() Shaft Miner |
Get 100 diamonds for robotics so they can build their big stompy mechs (and never let you use them). Go on a quest for the clown planet. Hit people with the pickaxe as if they were rocks. | Easy |
![]() Botanist |
Grow |
Easy |
Medical and Science
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
![]() Research Director |
Oversee the demented manchildren of your department. |
Hard |
![]() Chief Medical Officer |
Complain no one listens to you. Help the virologist spread an epidemic. Fill your hypospray with Chloral Hydrate. Do everything (Everyone else under you does fuck all). | Hard |
![]() Medical Doctor |
Medium | |
![]() Chemist |
Make Chloral Hydrate and basically control the station. Fling grenades on the emergency shuttle. Make "candy pills" and refuse to shut up about them. Misname bottles and get lynched by the Chief Medical Officer after they examine your bottle of "Tricordrazine". Inject the clown with enough mutagen to give a heart attack to a water buffalo. Dish out space drugs like no tomorrow. | Easy |
![]() Geneticist |
Give your monkeys Tourettes and broadcast their cursing across the station. Clone the tide of dead bodies that comes to your door. Lose your hair. Turn yourself into a monkey and get killed. | Medium |
![]() Virologist |
Expect people you've never met to already hate you, try to eradicate the great space flu, create the next Pandemic, get killed for the clown releasing Pierrot's Throat. Ignore petty details like sanitation and outbreak prevention. Incarcerate someone forever in your dungeon. | Medium |
![]() Roboticist |
Build some nifty robots and BIG STOMPY MECHS! Dismantle the station for more metal. Have your cyborgs that you built turn on you when the AI goes rogue. Kill a patient and blame it on your colleagues for not knowing how to preform surgery. And be all means the clown is GREAT GUY until he infects your PDA with a virus | Easy |
![]() Scientist |
Get tossed in disposal by the Research Director, nag chemistry, "accidentally" blow up toxins, let the Slimes loose. Nag mining for diamonds so you can make two Bags of Holding to make a mini Singularity. Refuse to stop at the last three items in the previous list and accidentally kill yourself in enough stupid ways to make murder look like assisted suicide. | Medium |
Civil duty jobs
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
![]() Assistant |
AKA Space Bums. Be the kid in a candy shop. Steal things to see what funny message pops up when you commit suicide with them. Beat people/objects with toolboxes. Never, EVER remove your grey jumpsuit. Gangbang the captain to death with fellow grey tide drones and blame it on the clown | Good for Beginners |
![]() Bartender |
Mix cocktails, protect Pun Pun at all cost, dodge glasses being thrown at you, have your shotgun stolen and used against you. Let cargo borrow your shotgun in exchange for sawing it off for you. Act suprised when people start to die from drinking your "cocktails". | Easy |
![]() Chef |
"Yur puurt thuur chiir-ken airn der bewl" - Cook delicious meals from spare meat in the morgue (Yum!), abduct Pun Pun at all costs and try to find out if it will blend. Be brutally murdered by your pet goat. | Easy |
![]() Clown |
Honk! Play harmless pranks and hope you don't get your chest caved in! Honk! Nag the HoP for an all-access pass. Honk! Nag robotics for a H.O.N.K. Mech. Honk! Use both tools to break into the Captain's office and HONK in his face. HONK! | HONK! |
![]() Mime |
... [Provide oh so sophisticated entertainment for the crew.] | ... |
![]() Chaplain |
Drink your holy water. Preach your religion with your all-healing bible. Drink more holy water. Make people retarded with your all-healing bible. Pretend to listen. Pray to the almighty |
Easy |
![]() Librarian |
Attempt to hold poetry readings. Stalk people with your camera. Get lynched for reading pornography over the radio. Beat the snot out of anyone who doesn't return their library books. Allow the cult to set up an AI module in your private study. | Easy |
Nonhuman jobs
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
![]() AI |
Complain that you can't play this for a month. Follow your laws. Be the crew's bitch. Open doors. Malfunction. Get wiped for not letting the captain robust the clown.Use the Cyborgs to Rule the Station. | Very Hard |
![]() Cyborg |
Follow your laws and hope that you aren't blown up due to certain individuals. Forget to recharge. Forget completely that you're still somewhat human and do mindless repetitive tasks without emotion. | Hard |
![]() Personal AI |
Be the friend someone has always wanted (if they bother downloading you). Whine in OOC because they didn't. Don't fill any of the fields except the name field. | Easy |
![]() Construct |
Obey your master, who is either worshiping Narsie or something worse. | Medium |
![]() Ghost |
Talk to the other dead people. Complain about the living. Admin help. Omnighost. Watch ERP. Beg the admin to deploy a space ninja. | Ghastly & Ghouly! |
Enemy jobs
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
![]() Nuclear Agent |
Someone set us up the bomb! (AKA You) Get dat fukken disk. Plant a power sink on the solars. Waste all your telecrystals on balloons. Arm the nuke while your fellows are still on the station. Kidnap Ian. | Very Hard |
![]() Changeling |
Think John Carpenter's 'The Thing', without 'The Thing' part- Relieve humans of their DNA and brain cells, which they don't use much anyway. | Hard |
![]() Xenomorph |
Ensure the crew gets a face full of alien wing-wang. Break procs. Squander your chance to be a big, purple killing machine and your race's survival in favor of acting out the librarian's favorite porno. | Hard |
![]() Wizard |
FORTI GY AMA!! then EI NATH!! | Glorious Failure |
Special Jobs
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
![]() Death Squad Officer |
USE YOUR ZAPPY GUN ON EVERYTHING! | Hard |
![]() Space Ninja |
Follow your orders, which may or may not involve you killing everything that moves. Suck on power like a Comdom's willy. Throw Ninja Stars like the Jap you are. | Hard |