User:Bobbanz

List of Thing's Spessmen Are No Longer Allowed To Do

Taken from the list that occured on Discord, do feel free to keep adding if you wish.

• I added a little story to some of them

Nanotrasen finally being fed up with having to deal with the crew's general chaos and outright violations of reality on a daily basis, decided to make a list dedicated to listing all the stuff the crew isn't allowed to do any longer, of course the crew being the crew, that list rapidly grew into a small book.

1. Shoot someone in the back of the head for "speaking different"

2. Feeding Assistant to the Stormdrive "Cause it hungers!"

• The Medical Department was on the hunt once again due to the large amount of corpses they had to clone

3. Make a heater TEG

4. Make a freezer TEG

5. Make a whateve- No seriously HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT- YOU KNOW WHAT

• No one knew who did it to make this rule appear on the list but the entire engineering department was acting smug for the rest of the week

5.1 Make any TEG involving the laws of thermodynamics

6. Pay the clown to steal Taigo's shoes, hat, cigarettes, lighter jacket

• The clown's criminal record was in the double digits before this rule appeared in the book, suspiciously his credit card had hit the triple digits

7. Replacing the Janitor's water tanks with Lube is right out.

8. Throw drinks at Taigo

9. No matter how many times you ask, we will not give the HoS a discount on 'Taigo' Tacos.

15. The Quartermaster can NOT order cargo techs to 'Get their tongues replaced or be sold for organs.' Just. No.

16. Burn the pages Labeled 10 to 14 cause they "Were offensive to Nar Nar!!"

17. Being a lizard is NOT and has NEVER been classified as a "medical issue".

18. Change the temperature from normal to hull melting cause it was "Too cold in here."

19. Challenge Brick to "a friendly game of thermonuclear warfare"

• Someone did this once, that ship never stopped screaming

20. Shield generators have never existed on Nanotrasen ships, anyone who reports knowing otherwise are to report to Central Command for administration of Class-A Amnestics.