Difference between revisions of "Guide to telescience"

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imported>Iamgoofball
(error)
imported>Kingofkosmos
(Mr. Buzzkill reporting in. This page was like a huge invitation for suicide-at-start-coz-didn't-get-antag scientists. I'd like if we would leave the antag-uses for stuff to be figured out by antags themselves instead of shoving it up on everyone's face.)
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{{Speech
 
{{Speech
 
|name=Iamgoofball, porter of Telescience
 
|name=Iamgoofball, porter of Telescience
|text=Hello, aspiring telesciencers! Please note that if your sole intention with telescience is to '''grief like hell''', you will find a ding dong bannu slapped on your forehead before you can say "Rhumba Beat", due to the Investigate logging added in recently. However, if you're one of the glorious antagonists of the round, feel free to '''BRING HELL ITSELF UPON THESE WRETCHED MASSES YOU SO DESPERATELY WISH TO MURDER AND MAIM''', as your antagonist status allows you to teleport that maxcap bomb you made right onto the face of the HoP who refused to give you all access earlier, with ''no penalties at all''! Have fun!
+
|text=Hello, aspiring telesciencers and welcome to the newest and most mysterious form of science available to the station! Please note that if your sole intention with telescience is to '''grief like hell''', you will find a ding dong bannu slapped on your forehead before you can say "Rumba beat", due to the Investigate logging added in recently.
 
|image=[[File:Generic_scientist.png|80px|right]]
 
|image=[[File:Generic_scientist.png|80px|right]]
 
}}
 
}}
 +
  
 
Welcome to Telescience, the room where you teleport things/people/bombs you aren't supposed to have into places said things/people/bombs aren't supposed to be, or use it for [[Beyond the impossible|legitimate purposes]].
 
Welcome to Telescience, the room where you teleport things/people/bombs you aren't supposed to have into places said things/people/bombs aren't supposed to be, or use it for [[Beyond the impossible|legitimate purposes]].
[[File:Telescience_room.png|thumb|400px|alt=Telescience_room|The telescience room, AKA where you teleport in your lootings]]<br>
 
  
  
=Tha' hell is this new fangled telescience stuff that runs on that electricial-tricity?=
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=Tha' Hell is This New Fangled Telescience Stuff That Runs on That Electricial-Tricity?=
Telescience is a single room at the south of the science department.
+
[[File:Telescience_room.png|thumb|515px|alt=Telescience_room|The Telescience Room]]
 +
Telescience is a single room at the south end of the Research department hallway.
  
This area focuses on teleportation, both sending and receiving. It is equipped with a telepad, a secure room to teleport people and things in and out of, and several handheld GPS readers.
+
This area focuses on teleportation, both sending and receiving. It is equipped with a telepad, a secure room to teleport people and things in and out of, and several handheld GPS readers.
  
Telescience is imprecise, but potentially extremely useful. Try teleporting GPSs to see where they go, and then from there you can move objects or people back and forth from your lab. Like all science rooms, experimentation is key!
+
Telescience is imprecise, but potentially extremely useful. Try teleporting GPSs to see where they go, and then from there you can move objects or people back and forth from your lab. Like all science rooms, experimentation is key!
  
Recalibrating the machine allows for between eight and twelve successful teleports.
+
 
 +
===Holy Shit, I Will be the Ruler of Space and Time!===
 +
A word of warning. Telescience requires '''math'''. Of course, as a scientist, you have a good understanding of mathematical knowledge and projectile trajectory, [[Beyond the impossible|right]]?
  
  
=Holy SHIT, I WILL BE THE RULER OF SPACE AND TIME!=
+
===How to Rip a Hole in the Fabric of Space and Time Itself to [[Beyond the impossible|Perform Useful Duties]]===
A word of warning. Telescience requires '''math'''. Of course, as a scientist, you have a good understanding of mathematical knowledge and projectile trajectory, [[Beyond the impossible|right]]?
+
Grab 3 handheld GPS tools. Put one on your belt, put one at your aimed coordinate (preferably in a wide, accessible area), and put one on the telepad.
  
 +
Aim for the coordinate your second GPS is on (set tags for them so you know which is which) and send the telepad GPS to it.
  
=How to rip a hole in the Fabric of Space and Time itself to <strike>fart in the HoP's face for not granting All Access</strike>[[Beyond the impossible|perform useful duties]].=
+
Go to the area you sent them and see how close the machine came to being successful. Experiment to see if it is precisely as inaccurate each time. Recalibrating the machine allows for between eight and twelve successful teleports. Work out if you can link specific people and coordinates. Jot everything you find down onto a piece of paper, then tell the RD when you've figured everything out. Get more access from the Head of Personnel so you can try sending things from Mining and Cargo. Have fun!
  
Grab 3 handheld GPS tools.  Put one on your belt, put one at your aimed coordinate (preferably in a wide, accessible area), and put one on the telepad.
 
  
Aim for the coordinate your second GPS is on (set tags for them so you know which is which) and send the telepad GPS to it.
+
===Challenges for the Robust in All of Us===
 +
# Be useful and teleport dead bodies to Genetics for cloning, or injured crew straight to Medbay for treatment!
 +
# Teleport an Engineering Cyborg straight to a hull breach!
 +
# Borrow all the Chef's donuts!
 +
# Teleport the last remaining revhead into the Brig for ''implanting''!
 +
# Find the remaining Bananium ore and construct a H.O.N.K. mech for the Clown!
 +
# Teleport the Nuclear Device around during a Nuclear Operatives -round! Bonus points if it's right after they stick in DAT FUKKEN DISK and before they input the code!
 +
# Teleport a bomb onto a malfunctioning AI's core!
 +
# Teleport the [[Woody's Got Wood|WGW]] reader into LORD SINGULOTH!
  
Go to the area you sent them and see how close the machine came to being successful.  Experiment to see if it is precisely as inaccurate each time.  Work out if you can link specific people and coordinates.  Jot everything you find down onto a piece of paper, then tell the RD you've figured everything out.  Get more access from the HOP(Read: teleport out the captain's spare) so you can try sending things from mining and cargo.  Have fun.
 
  
=Challenges for the R.O.B.U.S.T in all of us=
 
# Teleport a bomb onto the clown's unfunny face!
 
# Secure it for your fellow security members for great justice and/or "borrowing" all the chef's donuts!
 
# Teleport the last remaining head in a rev round into space!
 
# Find the remaining Bananium ore and construct a HONK mech!
 
# Teleport the last remaining revhead into the Execution Chamber for ""implanting"".
 
# Teleport around the Nuke Ops nuclear device! Bonus points if it's right after they stick in DAT FUKKEN DISK and before they input the code.
 
# Teleport your stealing objective to your lab for a easy greentext!
 
# Teleport around Ian, and hold him hostage!
 
# Blow up the telepad as a Malf AI to prevent bombs from being teleported onto your core!
 
# Teleport a bomb onto a Malf AI's core!
 
# Teleport a engineering cyborg straight to a hull breach!
 
# Teleport the shithead who IED'd your lab into LORD SINGULOTH!
 
# Teleport that shitface who keeps fucking with the coordinates on the console into the Toxins Burn Room!
 
# Teleport the [[Woody's Got Wood|WGW]] reader to Toxins Bomb Testing, and then teleport a Space Bear in after him!
 
# [[Beyond the impossible|Be useful and teleport dead bodies to Genetics, or teleport injured crew straight to the medbay for treatment.]]
 
 
[[Category:Guides]]
 
[[Category:Guides]]

Revision as of 13:04, 10 November 2013

Generic scientist.png
 
Iamgoofball, porter of Telescience says:
"Hello, aspiring telesciencers and welcome to the newest and most mysterious form of science available to the station! Please note that if your sole intention with telescience is to grief like hell, you will find a ding dong bannu slapped on your forehead before you can say "Rumba beat", due to the Investigate logging added in recently."


Welcome to Telescience, the room where you teleport things/people/bombs you aren't supposed to have into places said things/people/bombs aren't supposed to be, or use it for legitimate purposes.


Tha' Hell is This New Fangled Telescience Stuff That Runs on That Electricial-Tricity?

File:Telescience room.png
The Telescience Room

Telescience is a single room at the south end of the Research department hallway.

This area focuses on teleportation, both sending and receiving. It is equipped with a telepad, a secure room to teleport people and things in and out of, and several handheld GPS readers.

Telescience is imprecise, but potentially extremely useful. Try teleporting GPSs to see where they go, and then from there you can move objects or people back and forth from your lab. Like all science rooms, experimentation is key!


Holy Shit, I Will be the Ruler of Space and Time!

A word of warning. Telescience requires math. Of course, as a scientist, you have a good understanding of mathematical knowledge and projectile trajectory, right?


How to Rip a Hole in the Fabric of Space and Time Itself to Perform Useful Duties

Grab 3 handheld GPS tools. Put one on your belt, put one at your aimed coordinate (preferably in a wide, accessible area), and put one on the telepad.

Aim for the coordinate your second GPS is on (set tags for them so you know which is which) and send the telepad GPS to it.

Go to the area you sent them and see how close the machine came to being successful. Experiment to see if it is precisely as inaccurate each time. Recalibrating the machine allows for between eight and twelve successful teleports. Work out if you can link specific people and coordinates. Jot everything you find down onto a piece of paper, then tell the RD when you've figured everything out. Get more access from the Head of Personnel so you can try sending things from Mining and Cargo. Have fun!


Challenges for the Robust in All of Us

  1. Be useful and teleport dead bodies to Genetics for cloning, or injured crew straight to Medbay for treatment!
  2. Teleport an Engineering Cyborg straight to a hull breach!
  3. Borrow all the Chef's donuts!
  4. Teleport the last remaining revhead into the Brig for implanting!
  5. Find the remaining Bananium ore and construct a H.O.N.K. mech for the Clown!
  6. Teleport the Nuclear Device around during a Nuclear Operatives -round! Bonus points if it's right after they stick in DAT FUKKEN DISK and before they input the code!
  7. Teleport a bomb onto a malfunctioning AI's core!
  8. Teleport the WGW reader into LORD SINGULOTH!