Difference between revisions of "WHAT YOU SHOULD FUCKING DO DURING WAR OPS: THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE"
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*ARE YOU FUCKING PISSED ABOUT THE TIMES WHEN MEDBAY IS CARPETED WITH FUNGAL TB VICTIMS AND THE CMO SITS IN HER PRETTY BIOSUIT TWIDDLING HER THUMBS? | *ARE YOU FUCKING PISSED ABOUT THE TIMES WHEN MEDBAY IS CARPETED WITH FUNGAL TB VICTIMS AND THE CMO SITS IN HER PRETTY BIOSUIT TWIDDLING HER THUMBS? | ||
*ARE YOU FUCKING PISSED AT SCIENCE FOR RESEARCHING ADVANCED MINING? | *ARE YOU FUCKING PISSED AT SCIENCE FOR RESEARCHING ADVANCED MINING? |
Revision as of 00:55, 26 April 2018
- ARE YOU FUCKING PISSED ABOUT THE TIMES WHEN MEDBAY IS CARPETED WITH FUNGAL TB VICTIMS AND THE CMO SITS IN HER PRETTY BIOSUIT TWIDDLING HER THUMBS?
- ARE YOU FUCKING PISSED AT SCIENCE FOR RESEARCHING ADVANCED MINING?
- WELL, YOU CAN BEAT THOSE PEOPLE ON THEIR TINY DEFORMED HEAD WITH THIS FUCKING GUIDE THEN.
MEDICAL
CMO
- SET ALL OF MEDICAL TO EMERGENCY ACCESS
- SET UP A DEFIB MOUNT IN MEDBAY LOBBY
- I DUNNO GO DO WHATEVER NEEDS TO BE DONE (USUALLY TB CURE)
MEDICAL DOCTORS/VIROLOGIST/CHEMISTS
YOU FUCKING MAKE TB CURE SHIT. ITS FUCKING EASY.
- STEP 1: GRAB A 30u BOTTLE OF EPINEPHRINE (THEY'RE FUCKING EVERYWHERE)
- STEP 2: GO INTO CHEMISTRY
- STEP 3: GRAB A BEAKER, INJECT 10u OXYGEN, POTASSIUM, SUGAR
- STEP 4: MIX THE EPINEPHRINE AND THE CRYPTOBIOLIN TOGETHER
- STEP 5: CONGRATS YOU JUST FUCKING MADE 60u OF SPACEALLIN
- STEP 6: GRAB AN OXYGEN DEPRIVATION FIRST AID KIT, THEY'RE SCATTERED ACROSS THE STATION IN OXYGEN LOCKERS (THERE ARE ALSO KITS IN MEDBAY STORAGE)
- STEP 7: GRAB 2 SALBUTAMOL PILLS
- STEP 8: GRIND THEM USING THE GRINDER IN CHEMISTRY
- STEP 9: MIX 50u OF THE LIQUID SALBUTAMOL WITH 50u OF THE SPACEALLIN YOU CREATED EARLIER
- STEP 10: SYNTHESIZE THE RESULTING 100u INTO 10 PILLS, FUNGAL TB HAS A SHITTY ASS CURE CHANCE OF 5 WHICH MEANS THAT THE MORE SHIT YOU GET INJECTED WITH THE BETTER
VIROLOGIST
- OH DAWWW YOU MADE A HEALING VIRUS
- OH FUCK FUNGAL TB JUST OVERPOWERED IT AND KICKED ITS ASS
- MORAL OF THE STORY: YOUR PANSY ASS HEALING VIRUSES DON'T AND CAN'T DO SHIT AGAINST FUNGAL TB
- DON'T FUCKING MAKE HEALING VIRUSES
TIPS
- THERE ARE TWO NANOMED PLUSES IN MEDICAL, ROUNDSTART. EACH NANOMED HAS 2 SYRINGES OF SPACEALLIN, MAKING FOR 4 IN TOTAL
- THE VIROLOGY FRIDGE STARTS WITH 4 SYRINGES OF SPACEALLIN
- THIS MEANS THAT WITHOUT CHEMISTRY, YOU HAVE 60u OF SPACEALLIN
- FOLLOWING THOSE STEPS ABOVE RESULTS IN 120u OF SPACEALLIN
- JESUS FUCKING BATMAN
- YOU CAN THROW PEOPLE INTO SLEEPERS AND INJECT THEM WITH SABULTAMOL IF YOU'RE TOO LAZY TO GET AN OXY DEPRIV KIT
- VACCINE BOTTLES WORK TOO, BUT MAKING VACCINE BOTTLES REQUIRES YOU TO CURE SOMEONE AND THEN TAKE THEIR BLOOD, AND YOU CAN'T PREPARE A VACCINE BEFORE EVERYONE GETS FUCKING INFECTED
- GRAB THE LETHAL INJECTION SYRINGE LOCKER FROM THE "PRISONER REEDUCATION FACILITY" IN PERMABRIG AND LOAD THEM INTO YOUR SYRINGE GUN
- HAS A SUPER NICHE USE, SINCE HARDSUITS PROTECT AGAINST SYRINGES, BUT IF YOU GET ONE WITHOUT A HARDSUIT, A SINGLE HIT BY A LETHAL INJECTION SYRINGE PRETTY MUCH GUARANTEES THEIR DEATH
GENETICISTS
- HULK IS FUCKING USELESS BECAUSE THE OPS HAVE BALLISTIC WEAPONRY AND DON'T USE STUNS
- ALSO, HULKS CAN'T USE GUNS, WHICH HANDICAPS YOUR ASS PRETTY HARD
- NO SERIOUSLY, HULK IS SHIT AGAINST OPS
- TWO COMPETENT GENETICISTS CAN GET ALL 6 POWERS WITHIN 20 MINUTES, ESPECIALLY IF THEY'RE PERMANENTLY DOSED WITH MUTADONE
- COLD RESISTANCE IS GOOD FOR SPACEWALKING WITHOUT A HARDSUIT
- TELEKINESIS IS GOOD FOR MURDERING OPS WITH POTTED PLANTS
- XRAY IS GOOD SO YOU CAN MURDER OPS WITH POTTED PLANTS FROM WITHIN MAINT
- CHAMELEON IS GOOD SO YOU CAN MURDER OPS WITH POTTED PLANTS FROM WITHIN MAINT WHILST BEING INVISIBLE
- DWARF IS, UH, GOOD FOR KITING OPS IN THE BAR
- HULK IS VOMITED UP DOG DIARRHEA LEVELS OF SHIT
SCIENCE
RESEARCH DIRECTOR
- SET ALL OF SCIENCE TO EMERGENCY ACCESS
- GO CHANGE THE AI'S LAWS IF THE CAPTAIN HASN'T DONE SO ALREADY
- DRAG THE AI'S ASS OUT OF ITS SATELLITE AND INTO SOME SECLUDED PLACE IN MAINT
- SET UP AUXILIARY CLONING USING THE MACHINE BOARDS IN TECH STORAGE
- BITCH AT YOUR SUBORDINATES
- BITCH AT THE MINERS FOR WANTING BETTER FUCKING GEAR
SCIENTIST
- DON'T RESEARCH ADVANCED MINING YOU RETARD
- I SAID DON'T
- BAD DOGGIE
WHAT YOU RESEARCH
- STEP 1: INDUSTRIAL ENGINEERING
- STEP 2: WEAPON DEVELOPMENT TECHNOLOGY
- STEP 3: BALLISTIC WEAPONRY
- STEP 4: ELECTRIC WEAPONRY
- STEP 5: ROLL TIDE (EXCEPT FOR MINING TECH BECAUSE FUCK EM)
- THIS MEANS THAT CARGO DOESN'T WASTE THEIR POINTS ORDERING AUTO RIFLE AMMO CRATES, WHICH ARE FUCKING EXPENSIVE AS FUCK.
- ALSO IT MEANS THAT SECURITY CAN PRINT OUT ION CARBINES FOR THE OCCASIONAL SYNDICATE MECH
WHAT THE FUCK ELSE
- XENOBIO IS FUCKING USELESS BECAUSE IT CAN'T DO JACK IN 20 MINUTES
- CIRCUITRY MIGHT BE ABLE TO DO SOMETHING THROUGH XTREME POWERGAME
- EXPERIMENTOR CAN CLONE SHIT
- TOXINS IS MOSTLY FOR GENERATING RESEARCH POINTS, I GUESS YOU CAN BOMB THE SYNDIE SHUTTLE IF YOU WANT THOUGH
ROBOTICIST
- MAKE BORGS
- MAKE BORGS
- IF YOU SPAWN WITH RIPLEY BOARDS, BUILD A FIREFIGHTER
- STRAP A DRILL ONTO IT
- PILOT IT INTO MANLY BATTLE AGAINST A DARK MAULER
- DRILL THEIR ASSES
- WIN
CARGO
QUARTERMASTER/CARGO TECHNICIAN
- MOVE FREIGHT
- MOVE CRATES
- MOVE FREIGHT
- MOLEST CITRUS
- ORDER WT-550 AUTO RIFLE CRATES
- DONT ORDER AUTO RIFLE AMMO CRATES
- DISTRIBUTE GUNS
- SELL ALL OF THE PLASMA THE MINERS BRING BACK
- ORDER MORE AUTO RIFLE CRATES
- DONT ORDER ENERGY GUNS OR OTHER LAME ASS LASER WEAPONRY BECAUSE SYNDIES CAN DEFLECT THEM WITH ESWORDS/ESHIELDS
QUARTERMASTER
- SET ALL OF CARGO TO EMERGENCY ACCESS SO THE GREYTIDE CAN GET THOSE SWEET ASS GUNS
- BITCH AT YOUR SUBORDINATES
SHAFT MINER
- MINE ORE
- MINE PLASMA
- MAYBE KILL AN ASH DRAKE THAT WOULD BE SWEET AS SHIT
- DON'T DIE
- DON'T BITCH AT SCIENCE TO RESEARCH MINING TECH
- DON'T BITCH AT CARGO FOR SHIPPING YOUR ORE TO CENTCOMM
- ACTUALLY BE ON THE STATION AT THE 20 MINUTE MARK
- BUY A MINING HARDSUIT AND AS MANY KA RANGE UPGRADES AS YOU CAN
- GO INTO SPACE
- SHIT ON THE SYNDIES WITH YOUR 40 DAMAGE INFINITE AMMO GUN
- LOLOLOL
ENGINEERING
CHIEF ENGINEER
- SET ALL OF ENGINEERING TO EMERGENCY ACCESS FOR EMITTER MEMES
- OPEN SECURE STORAGE
- TOW THE AI OUT OF ITS SATELLITE IF NO ONE ELSE IS WILLING TO
ENGINEER
- SET UP THE SUPERMATTER
- SET UP THE SOLARS
- GO TOW SOME EMERGENCY BREACH SHIELDING GENERATOR THINGIES TO THE SUPERMATTER COOLING LOOP SO SYNDIES CAN'T SABOTAGE IT AS EASILY
- WAIT FOR THE SUPERMATTER TO BE INEVITABLY BLOWN UP
- DON'T RCD SOME SHITTY ASS DEFENSES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY
- THESE DEFENSES LITERALLY SHATTER IN 2 HITS FROM A L6
ATMOS TECH
- SET UP ATMOS
- COOL SOME PLASMA
- COLLECT THE FRIGID PLASMA IN A TANK
- MAKE A FLAMETHROWER
- END UP GASSING THE CAPTAIN
- ACCIDENTALLY OPEN A BZ CANISTER
- OOOOPSIE DAISY
SECURITY
WHAT YOU SHOULD DO
- WAIT FOR SCIENCE TO RESEARCH BALLISTIC AND ELECTRIC WEAPONRY, THOSE BASTARDS
- GO TO CARGO
- GRAB AS MUCH METAL, SILVER, AND URANIUM AS YOU CAN FROM THE ORM
- IF THERE ISN'T ENOUGH METAL, GRAB SOME FROM ENGINEERING
- METAL AND SILVER IS FOR PRINTING ARMOR PIERCING AUTO RIFLE AMMO FROM YOUR DEPARTMENTAL PROTOLATHE
- IF YOU'RE SHORT ON SILVER, PRINTING NORMAL AUTO RIFLE AMMO WORKS TOO
- THE ARMOR PIERCING IS BECAUSE THE NUCLEAR OPERATIVES HAVE BULLSHIT ARMOR WHICH NEGATES MOST DAMAGE
- USE THE METAL, SILVER, AND URANIUM TO PRINT OUT ION CARBINES FROM YOUR DEPARTMENTAL PROTOLATHE
- THE ION CARBINE IS FOR DEALING WITH THE OCCASIONAL SYNDICATE MECH
HEAD OF SECURITY
- GRAB YOUR SHIT
- OPEN ARMORY
- REMEMBER THAT YOUR OFFICERS GET PRIORITY ON WEAPONS AND GEAR OVER THE GREYTIDE
- DISTRIBUTE THE LEFTOVERS TO THE GREYTIDE
- GIVE YOUR DEPARTMENTAL PROTOLATHE BOARD TO RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT BECAUSE RELYING ON YOUR OFFICERS TO PRINT OUT GUNS IS LIKE RELYING ON A DRUNK MANATEE TO SURVIVE INSIDE THE AMAZON FUCKING RAINFOREST
- TRY TO FOLLOW THE CAPTAIN
- CONTRACT TB
- WATCH MEDBAY WALK OVER YOUR GASPING COMATOSE BODY
WARDEN
- OPEN ARMORY
- SET ALL OF BRIG TO EMERGENCY ACCESS
- YOU AND THE SECURITY OFFICERS GET DIBS ON GEAR
- PREPARE FOR WHEN BRIG GETS SYNDIE BOMBED
- ASK FOR THE PINPOINTER FROM THE CAPTAIN
- OH WHATS THAT? A SYNDIE BOMB CONVENIENTLY PARKED OUTSIDE THE ARMORY? OH JOY!
SECURITY OFFICER
- ARM UP
- ARM UP
- THROW AWAY YOUR ARMOR VEST AND GRAB SOME BULLETPROOF ARMOR, SYNDIES DON'T USE LASERS FOR SOME REASON
- RUN AROUND
- HARMBATON THE CLOWN
- VALID HUNT
COMMAND
CAPTAIN
- SET THE HOP OFFICE TO EMERGENCY ACCESS BECAUSE FUCK THAT GUY
- GO RENAME YOUR STATION TO SOMETHING LIKE "FUCK YOU NUKE OPS"
- GO BREAK YOUR ANTIQUE LASER GUN OUT
- GO CHANGE THE AI'S LAWS
- USE THE FUCKING TELEPORTER FUCKTARD
- ARM UP
- GO MOPE IN CARGO OR BRIG OR SOMETHING
- RUN AWAY
- DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE TRY TO STAND AND FIGHT
- YOU AREN'T AS BADASS OR AS ROBUST AS YOU THINK
- RUN AWAY
- OH WHAT'S THAT? A NICE MAN WITH A L6 AND ADRENALS?
HEAD OF PERSONNEL
- DISTRIBUTE ALL ACCESS
- DISTRIBUTE ALL ACCESS
- LEAVE ALL ACCESS ID CARDS IN THE ID MODIFICATION CONSOLES AT ARRIVALS AND AT THE CAPTAIN'S OFFICE SO PEOPLE CAN GIVE THEMSELVES DIY ALL ACCESS
- DISTRIBUTE ALL ACCESS
- NAG THE CAPTAIN FOR HIS PINPOINTER
- GET STUN PRODDED AND CABLE CUFFED BY THE GREYTIDE
SERVICE
JANITOR
- UH, CLEAN SHIT I GUESS?
- YOU GET A FREE BIOSUIT SO YOU MIGHT AVOID THE FUNGAL TB APOCALYPSE
- YOU SHOULD ALSO CLEAN THE INFECTED BLOOD STAINS WHICH RESULT FROM THE FUNGAL TB GRENADES
- ROBUST SOME OPS WITH YOUR MOP
- MAYBE SLIP SOME POOR SOD WHO FORGOT TO BUY NO-SLIPS
BARTENDER
- SAW YOUR SHOTGUN
- HACK THE AUTOLATHE
- PRINT OUT BUCKSHOT SHELLS
- SHOOT THOSE OPERATIVES
- QUADRUPLE/QUINTIPLE SEC IS USEFUL FOR HEALING
COOK
- UH, MAKE FOOD?
- ROBUST THE SHIT OUT OF ANYONE WHO ENTERS YOUR KITCHEN
- MAYBE YOU CAN GET PETE TO AGGRO ONTO THE OPS
- THEN THEY'RE FUCKED
BOTANIST
- GO INTO CHEMISTRY WITH YOUR SHINY ALL ACCESS ID
- ROBUST THE CHEMISTS
- GET MUTAGEN
- MUTATE TOMATOES INTO BLUESPACE TOMATOES AND KILLER TOMATOES, MUTATE FLY AMANITA INTO DESTROYING ANGEL
- THROW BLUESPACE TOMATOES AT THE OPS TO FUCK WITH THEM
- ACTIVATE YOUR KILLER TOMATOES TO GET THEM TO CHASE THE OPS
- DESTROYING ANGEL CONTAINS SOME OF THE MOST POTENT POISONS IN THE GAME
- THE PROBLEM IS TRYING TO GET THE POISONS INTO THEIR SYSTEM
CIVILIAN
ASSISTANT
- GET ALL ACCESS FROM THE HOP
- RAID ARMORY
- RAID BRIG
- RAID CARGO
- GET KILLED THE MOMENT THE OPS ARRIVE
- BITCH IN DEAD CHAT
CLOWN
- HONK HONK
- ROBUST THE HOP AND STEAL ALL ACCESS EVEN THOUGH HE'S HANDING IT OUT FOR FREE HONK HONK
- SLIP SECURITY
- START A MANHUNT
- THROW THE CAPTAIN OUT THE AIRLOCK
- BWOINK
MIME
- . . .
- . . .
- PROFIT
CHAPLAIN
- ARM YOURSELF WITH THE HOLY CHAINSAW BLADE OF BITCHTITS
- WALK AROUND LOOKING ALL COOL
- TELL THE TWO ASSISTANTS IN YOUR CHAPEL THAT JESUS HATES THEM
- YOUR CHAPEL GETS BOMBED DUE TO IT BEING CONVENIENTLY NEXT TO DEPARTURES AND BEING MUCH LESS TRAFFICKED
- HAHA
CURATOR
- WHIP THE GUNS OUT OF THOSE DASTARDLY SYNDIE'S HANDS
- PICK UP A SYNDIE GUN
- . . .
- GET SHOT UP BY A STECHKIN PISTOL
- WHISPER OUT WGW
LAWYER
- "THE CLOWN'S GOT RIGHTS YOU KNOW"
- ANNOY PEOPLE WITH YOUR PDA MESSAGES
- GET A LYNCH MOB CALLED AGAINST YOU
- RUN AWAY WITH A TIDE OF DAKKA RIGHT BEHIND YOU
SILICONS
AI
- BITCH AT THE CREW THAT THE NUCLEAR OPERATIVES ARE HUMAN AND NOT TO HARM THEM YADDA YADDA UNTIL SOMEONE FINALLY CHANGES YOUR LAWS
- THEN BITCH AT THE CREW TO PULL YOUR ASS OUT OF THE SATELLITE
- THEN BITCH AT THE CREW BECAUSE THEY SHOVED YOUR ASS IN PLAIN SIGHT, SMACK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BRIDGE
- THEN BITCH AT THE CREW ABOUT SUIT SENSORS
- "NUKE OPS AT DEPARTURES"
- PLASMA FLOOD DEPARTURES FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES
- CALL OUT THE LOCATION OF THE CAPTAIN EVERY COUPLE OF SECONDS
CYBORG
- DON'T BECOME A SERVICE OR JANITOR BORG
- YOU WILL BE DAMNED TO THE NINTH CIRCLE OF CYBORG HELL IF YOU BECOME A SERVICE BORG IN A WAR OPS ROUND
- DO YOUR JOB
- DO YOUR JOB WELL
- OH LOOKIE AN OP
- OH LOOKIE I JUST GOT EMPED
- OH LOOKIE I'M FUCKING DEAD
- CRY BECAUSE THE MOST EFFECTIVE WEAPON YOU HAVE IS A FLASH AND THE ROBOTICISTS REFUSE TO INSTALL ANY UPGRADES IN YOU